tryst

November 19, 2009 — badinfluencegirl

our laughter precedes us into the room, as do the hordes of bags we’ve collected along the way.  you point to a corner and watch as the packages are unloaded neatly and then dismiss their carrier without another thought. “now” you say as you sprawl indolently on the couch and loosen your collar “show me.”

and i do.

i prance over to that same corner and kick off my shoes, plop myself on to a chair and slowly roll my nylons down my legs as  you watch with heavy lidded eyes and intense pupils.  i stand and slowly, very slowly unbutton my blouse and skirt.  i slide the skirt down to my knees and then let it drop to the floor, panties follow.  your eyes narrow slightly at the glimpses of curls revealed and hidden by my swaying shirt.

i paw through the bags until i find the one i want.  thigh high tights slide up my legs and grip my upper thighs.  immediately my arousal increases. your eyelids, if possible, drop even heavier.

i search again and pull a very small bag from the pile.  beautiful translucent lace panties caress my silk clad legs and snap into place over my curls.  i smile at you over my shoulder and reach behind myself to unsnap my bra.  it falls at my feet and i hear your breath catch.

i allow the shirt to fall.

naked save for tiny panties and thigh high stockings i bend over to the small bag again.  nipples crinkling with their exposure (and my arousal) hurt slightly as i trap them in the bra that matches the panties.

i bend, deeply from the hips, to lean over the gathered packages once more.  i can feel myself dampening my panties even as my bottom waggles at the ceiling.  i glance at you through my legs and see your pupils burning into my body and another shaft of desire hits my center.

i find a little dress that you didn’t see me buy and slide it slowly up my body, caressing my skin as i go.  it settles on to my curves and i hear your breath catch once more.  i drop gracefully into a little squat and find the shoes to match.

standing once more, i slide my feet into beautiful pumps that are dizzyingly high and turn to strut toward you.

you growl, deep and low in your throat, your erection bulging against your trousers and enticing my hips to sway even more.  i stop and pose before i drop my mouth to your lips and allow you to capture my tongue.  i resist the urge though and pull back to dance back to the pile.

i stand tall, back toward you, and slowly drop one strap from my shoulder and then the other.  innocently i glance over my shoulder “shall i dress for dinner or show you another outfit?” the mischief implicit in my voice causes you to growl again.

“dinner.”

i continue to slide the tiny dress along my silken skin.  as my buttocks come into view i hear you groan and i let the dress drop to the floor.  i slide my new panties down my thighs as they would show through the sheer dress i have chosen for dinner.  i can feel my arousal coating my pussy as  i bend and start pawing through the bags, stilettos and thigh highs framing my naked womanhood even as my nipples crinkle inside my bra.

i don’t hear you move but suddenly you are there, hot erection pressing through your trousers against the cleft of my bottom. you turn me slightly until i am facing a chair and you mutter “brace yourself.”

i feel arousal flood me still further as i reach over and brace my hands against the chair.  you lean your still clothed body against my nakedness and reach around to fondle my nipples inside my bra.

i moan and press back against the raging hard-on i can feel through your layers of material.  i start to rub back and forth against you.

“don’t move”

i mewl and focus on my hands, body quivering and nipples excruciatingly aware of each scrape and flick of your blunt nails.

one hand drops to my swollen folds and begins to stroke the slickness waiting there “good girl” floats through my ears as i moan and fight to keep still.  you step between my legs and kick them further apart.  kick them to the exact distance apart that lets my sopping channel rest against your pants.

you stroke and stroke and stroke again as i gasp and fight the movement but buck slightly in spite of myself.

i hear the zip and slide as your pants drop to the floor and i mewl again.  shocks are coursing through my body and then you slide the head of your erection along my channel to rub my incredibly sensitized button.

i move with you.

you stop moving, grab both my my hips in your powerful hands and say “don’t move, and don’t make me tell you again.”  i flood the penis resting against my clitoris with my arousal.

you stay there, leisurely stroking your penis up and down my channel and bringing me to the edge or orgasm and retreating each time.  the slick shaft sliding against my clitoris is killing me and i mewl helplessly as shocks course through my system and pulsations start deep and low in my body and jet through my vagina.

you laugh and slide once, twice, thrice more until i cry out again and then, even as the shocks continue you slam your shaft into my aching hole.  i fight every urge i have and brace myself firmly but don’t push back against you.

you laugh, you know i want to slam my bottom into your pelvis and you don’t care.

slowly you pull all the way out and wait, wait and wait some more until i cry “please” in a broken little voice.  you laugh and slam back home.

you bend me slightly more fully over and proceed to use me as you will, erection sliding in and out of my body and utterly covered in my sexual lubricants; testicles slapping my clit and driving me further into mindless ecstacy.

every slam leads to a slap against my clit and i am already so lost in your body that i don’t even notice the space between the orgasms as i surf one long wave of pleasure inflicted by your body.

eventually you can tell that i am about to collapse from the pleasure and you root yourself deep within me once more before pulling all the way out.  i cry out again as you withdraw.

you leave me there, one hand on your penis and the other under my hips.  i am coming helplessly now and my legs are shaking, if you removed your hand i would surely fall to the floor in a helpless puddle of my own juices.

but you don’t.  you wait until the pulsations slow a little, until my breath deepens a little in my chest.  you wait.  stroking your penis just enough.  you wait.

and then you slam home and hold both my hips as you thrust deeply and forcefully into my body, once, twice, thrice and i cry out and come again and this time, this time i am rewarded with the feeling of your hot seed spurting deep into my waiting depths and i groan long and deep in the back of my throat.

you hold me there for a moment and then drop me to the chair.

“no, don’t wipe yourself up, just get dressed and we’ll go.”

“and skip the panties…”

Posted in random. 3 Comments »

zip

November 3, 2009 — badinfluencegirl

you walk in the door with your long day trailing behind you and a slump in your beautiful shoulders.  i meet you with a kiss, take and drop your coat and briefcase before i return to your lips.

you seem about to protest, words of showers and dinners and tiredness tumbling in your eyes even as i feel you against me; your body reacting already to the hands i am sliding beneath your suit jacket.

even through the shirt i can feel the corded ridges of muscle that hold your bones together and my fingers instinctively dig into them, dig and knead even as my breath drops and our bodies reacquaint themselves.

i slide my hands to your collar and slowly begin unbuttoning your shirt.  the first button takes an age and i pull the crisp material aside to feather kisses along your collarbone.  i let your body take my weight and feel you fall back against the front door.

the breath leaves your body with an oof and i chuckle against your throat before i take a nip right at the base of your neck.  you gasp and press your hands into my bottom and my low belly into your growing arousal.

i undo another button.

and another.

and my tongue traces the valley between your ribs even as i pull your shirt from your pants and rake my nails up the naked skin of your back.  you knead my ass harder and start to work on my shirt.

i laugh again and undo two more buttons.

my nose nuzzles your shirt away from your nipple and my teeth nip once, twice, thrice before i settle in to suck on the stiff little bud jutting out from the whorl of dark hair surrounding your nipple.  i release it and pull back to blow gently and a low moan leaves your throat.

i visit the other nipple.

i lave it and bathe it and caress it gently before pulling back to blow once more.  once more i settle my mouth over it and flick at it with the point of my tongue.  i hear the thud as your head falls back to rest on the door.

my nails score your back once more before returning to your navel.  i tease your tickle reflex before i continue with the buttons of your shirt.

my hands caress the front of your pants and the jutting bulge therein before i release it by dropping the zipper and pulling your now very stiff cock from your boxer briefs.

in a trice i’ve dropped to my knees (which land on your cleverly dropped coat) and taken about half of you into my mouth.  your hands drop into my hair and you let out a long low groan of satisfaction as you feel my tongue swirl against the underside of your raging erection.

i reach back into your shorts to fondle your testicles as i flirt the back of my throat with your cock.  pulling back i blow on the tip while i purse my red painted lips and glance up at you archly.  you watch avidly as my mouth slowly drops on to your cock again and pulls back once more.

eventually i feel the spit starting in the back of my throat and i leave you there to pulse in my mouth while i swirl my soft palate and slowly remind my gag reflex who’s boss.

i drag back, slowly and with just the tiniest hint of teeth, until i feel the ridge at the head of your cock and then i drop back to tickle my gag reflex once more.  i let the wonderful thick lube forming in the back of my throat begin to fill my mouth and then cover your now fully hard penis.

my fingers caress your balls and the space behind even as i coat your cock with the slipperiest lube you can find and it’s all homemade.  i wrap a hand around the base of you and squeeze as i follow my mouth with my hand and slide up and down your greasy rod.

you groan again and curl your fingers in my hair, guiding my rhythm now and speeding me up a little.  your hips twitch and your penis starts to meet my descending mouth, it’s seeking head questing for the back of my throat.

i reach around and hold on to your flexing buttocks and allow you to set the pace for a time, i wrap my lips around my teeth and swirl my tongue around your thrusting cock before i bring a hand to grasp the base and just leave my mouth wrapped around the head.

i swirl my hand around the base and squeeze rhythmically along with you.  you are pushing on my head but i press it back and allow your head to pop all the way out of my mouth.  i continue pumping with my hand as i blow gently on the increasingly sensitive head of your penis.

my thumb swirls up and over the head with each stroke of my spit soaked hand and i continue to blow as i catch my breath.  eventually i let go entirely and pause an endless moment before i plunge your length into my hungry mouth.  you gasp and shudder under my swirling hands.

i fondle your testicles through your zipper and work my mouth on the head of your cock but the real action is what my hand is doing and it’s starting to feel those telltale pulses that mean you’re nearly done.  i start to move my mouth up and down over the ridge at the bottom of the head of your penis and very occasionally i flirt with my teeth.  my thumb and index finger follow my lips before they both travel back down.

you are mindlessly thrusting into my mouth now, fingers fisted in my hair and balls tight and high in my hand.  i feel that quiver at the base and leave my head where it is to suck and suck even as my hand keeps working your engorged shaft and you let out one long cry before you erupt into my mouth.

i feel your seed hit the back of my throat and i leave you there, in my mouth, soft palate working as you pulse and shudder and thrust and finally collapse, panting and happy, against the door of our home even as i lick off the last of your semen from your still quivering cock.

Posted in random. 4 Comments »

review: tantus g-force

October 25, 2009 — badinfluencegirl

well the lovely folks at pinkcherry.com have brightened my life considerably lately and the first reason is the tantus g-force.  it appeared on my doorstep and just asked me if i wanted to be friends with it.

tantus makes really pretty toys, the silicone is this deep, rich wine red colour and there is a cute, little bulb on the end followed by a flexible, tapered shaft and a twisted handle.  the handle and the toy itself are differently textured, one is smooth and almost oily and the handle is a little rougher and slightly thicker.

the nice thing about the handle/shaft is that it’s actually bendable enough to hit your g-spot with the bulb and graze your clit with the handle, but i’m getting ahead of myself.  you can also feel the handle when you’re playing with your bum which makes you slightly less likely to lose it up there… but have a care.

i was dying of horniness when i pulled out this toy the first time.  dying.  there had been some bad sex with the guy from adventures in dating and otherwise nothing for ages AND i had just shaved my pussy for the first time in years.  so it had some help.

i dropped my still dripping from the shower body on to my bed and started to slide the bulb up and down my already soaked cleft and then realised that i’d better stop if i wanted to test the toy before i came all over my bed.  i mean G-force means g-spot right?

so i slid the now girl juice covered toy inside me and started to rock and roll.

and i rocked and i rolled and i rocked and i rolled and i gushed and i panted and i had a very good time but i never entirely managed to get my g-spot to take off.  i definitely made a little mess on my bed and i definitely had a lovely time but it wasn’t until i started to play with my clit manually or using the handle that i really managed to come.

somehow i could quite get my g-spot to really… how to put this… push.

so the next day, still horny, i thought to myself “self, you should really try this toy again so you can write the dreadfully overdue review already” to which i replied “good call” and grabbed some mineral oil* and the g-force and went to work.

interestingly i had the same experience both times.  i couldn’t quite get my g-spot to just really release me into a full blown orgasm.  i was rocking the toy and the hips and feeling it deep and low in the back of my throat but i just couldn’t seem to let go into the full slapping vagina wall experience.

so i said forget this, whipped the toy out of myself and stuck it in my ass.

except that isn’t how it worked.

the bendy handle/shaft, so awesome when applied to my clit while still stroking my g-spot with the bulb?  not so awesome for shoving the bulb into my bum.

it kept bending and (remember i was covered in oil) trying to slide toward my vagina instead and i eventually had to choke the shaft up toward the bulb (tough since it was covered in lube) and hold it really firmly to get it inside my ass.

this was actually a little annoying because i couldn’t work it in slowly.

my hands were so covered in lube (and really, this can’t be a problem, you’re supposed to use lube with toys and partners and so on especially if your ass is involved) and the shaft was so slick that i couldn’t ease or twist it in at all, i just had to shove.

i was really horny though so it was okay.

once i got it into my bum i pulled it out a bit and worked the shaft and then hit the bulb again and it was great. i really liked it in my bum, especially when i teased my tortured clitoris into a lovely gusher of an orgasm.

best part?  the simple design means it’s super easy to clean no matter how dirty you get it and even the handle comes clean with no problem. i really don’t understand sex toys with uncleanable crevices… particularly when they’re designed for your BUM!

[internet reviews suggest this toy is extra fantastic for women who like to masturbate on their tummies, and i can totally see that but i don't so i didn't.]

as always don’t use silicone lube with this as it will eventually kill a toy designed to last a lifetime.  proper cleaning involves a mild bleach solution or washing and boiling.  quick cleaning (never enough to clean a shared or anally inserted toy) is as simple as soap and water.

i’m having a hard time rating this one, the g-force is a really well made toy that mostly does what it says but i think it suffers slightly from trying to do too many things.

it’s awesome that the handle is bendy enough that you can stimulate your clit with it while still messing with your g-spot.

it’s great that it feels soooo good in your bum except that the handle is so bendy you can’t get it in without force, not so good for those new to anal play and it’s not huge so the experienced might want something bigger.

it’s great that it feels so good on your g-spot and slides into your pussy oh so sweet and that it feels so good sliding up and down your channel but somehow?  it can’t seal the deal with my g-spot.

so i’m going to give it an eight out of ten.  a good grade but not a great one and helped by the incredible material quality and extremely moderate packaging.  anyone who likes bum play that isn’t too too big but has a long shaft will love this toy and  anyone who wants to drive their partner wild with g or p spot stimulation will be grateful to the fine designers at tantus.  i would recommend it even though i don’t madly love it because it is reasonably priced and does a lot of things well enough.

.

* i have sensitivity to everything (get sex based cystitis OR yeast) and doctor said mineral oil was the most neutral to my body and to use that instead of lube.  sorry lube manufacturers, it’s freaking awesome.

Posted in random. Leave a Comment »

adventures in dating

October 21, 2009 — badinfluencegirl

[i have edited my title and his on behalf of the reader who pointed out that i'm being mean, because i was... i still say it's pretty lame behaviour though]

[i had a party on the weekend, one at which nobody left until after one am and the room was filled with happy talking noises for many hours (and many of the people there knew no one but me.)

i was seeing an event planner/bartender and this was our fourth meeting... i lent him my spare keys to get something from his car and then he went home quite suddenly after sitting in the corner half the night... here is the morning after text conversation.

please enjoy - big]

*

him:

i have your keys.

badinfluencegirl:

that’s funny, i totally accused *randomsmokingman* of having them in his pocket <g>

him:

Now I really didn’t feel like getting into anything with you last night, but come on? What was up with you last night? I did not feel like i should have been there. You were way more interested in conversing with your friends…aside from a few token “checking up on me” I don’t think you think you said more than 10 sentences to me.

I’m very disenchanted

badinfluencegirl:

wow, you seemed to be having a good time so i was doing my host-ey thing and leaving you to it.  Since I thought you were staying over I didn’t really think you would mind me hanging with people I haven’t seen in a while.  I’m sorry that bothered you, I was delighted to see you when you arrived but funnily enough felt a little brushed off by you a few times as well.

I’m sorry you felt ignored, that was not my intent.

him:

Horrible evening. Quite upset actually. Yes I can be a trouper and mingle and make the best of things, but seriously you were either too drunk or too stoned…don’t do that to the next guy – it’s not nice!

I’ll drop your keys off tomorrow as I have to be at *storenearmyhouse* sometime in the afternoon.  Take care

badinfluencegirl:

wow, way to be uh… yeah.  not transparent at all *guy*, couldn’t tell at all what you were thinking except that something was wrong, and by then you were on the way out the door.  every single other person in the room took pains to tell me how much fun they were having… i’m sorry that for you a room full of interesting people is horrible.

good to know my instincts were right anyway.  i will be home after 3 and have clients from 4 on. and out again as of 6:30.

him:

That is pretty hurtful badinfluencegirl. You’ve managed to knock me down yet again…wow…classy!

I don’t think I’ll reciprocate or stoop to that. Not my style.

badinfluencegirl:

my instincts: after you left i turned to my friend and said ‘wow, i just got dumped’ … that’s all that i meant.i don’t really know why you feel insulted right now considering you just dumped me via text and informed me i was rude and hurtful and that what i thought was a very nice gathering was ‘horrible’

let me know when you will drop my keys off

him:

No. I will drop them off outside and call you when I have done so. I have no interest in talking to you.

badinfluencegirl:

omg seriously, tell me when you’re coming so i can at least be here.

[two days later?  my keys were dropped off to the super by a female.  so he's too much of a wimp to even take care of his own business... *shaking head* so yeah]

ps if anyone can tell me HOW i insulted him up there i’d love to hear it… (before he tells me i’m classless i mean)

Posted in dating, life, random, uncoupling, war stories. 12 Comments »

flash

October 16, 2009 — badinfluencegirl

every time i close my eyes i see it.

it’s never the same image and it never lasts long but it’s there.

sometimes it’s just a naked chest, rippling as it moves below me or a limpid look in a pair of eyes or buttocks flexing as they move.

sometimes it’s two bodies, the spaces between them opening and closing as various parts slide along each other.

or the sound of the breath that forms between two mouths and circles there becoming at once more than simply oxygen impregnated air.  becoming somehow possibility and magic instead.

the look of lips swollen with passion and heavy with promise.  intent gaze fixing on mine for a moment.

the soft sigh as a particularly tantalizing morsel of flesh is discovered, and devoured.

the feel of dense muscle bunching and flexing beneath seeking hands.  bones sliding under skin as bodies learn each other’s rhythms.

heads thrown back.

hands gripping shirts and tossing them to the side before lightly furred chest teases soft skin.

nipples crinkled long before the cool air reaches them.

mouth dropping to feast on over sensitized skin.

toes curled.

muscles tensing in response to a particularly teasing or arousing touch.  body arching for more.

bodies gleaming as sweat warms them, urgency growing and yet somehow not quite yet.

moisture pooling in my core.

it’s the sound of a groan as nails slide up dewed skin or the giggle as a body is manhandled into position.

it’s the feel of a head resting on my stomach and shoulders separating my thighs.

it’s the moment when two bodies align perfectly and still continue to dance rather than complete the circuit.

it’s the taste in my mouth of my teeth learning the joinings at elbows and thighs and shoulder to neck.  nibbling and biting and lavishing attention on the strangest bits.

the feel of my body ready and waiting and the little pulses that surge along  nerve endings even when i’m alone.

the deep heavy pulse in my vagina whenever i close my eyes and see it.

the feeling, deep in the bones, of that first entry and the anticipation that soaks any pair of panties i wear.

that deep languid feeling low in the pit of the belly that says not if but when.

the curiosity that will be sated.

the droop of my eyelids whenever my brain takes me back there.  back to the land of sighs and groans and skin and laughter and gasps.

i see the before; every time i close my eyes.

Posted in fantasy, fucking, hormones, life, random, sex, sex drive, sex fantasy. Leave a Comment »

pensive

October 9, 2009 — badinfluencegirl

yeah, this isn’t a sex post.

wait, where did everybody go?

whatever, i want to talk about this.

i smoke pot.  i smoke a lot of pot for people who don’t smoke pot and a pretty small amount compared to people who are chronic.  i am the beer after work definition of chronic rather than the falling down drunk version.

that being said, i have been thinking about this pot thing for a while now.

i used to not really worry about it.  it was something i did after work and i figured it was under control.  sometimes i even took a month off just to like prove to myself that i could.

i kept telling myself i would quit ’soon’ but that i wasn’t worried about it.

except that i was.

i was worried about it and i wondered what it was i was trying to hide/run from with this drug.  i learned that anti anxiety medication is generally prescribed to folks who quit weed and i totally believe it.

weed settles me down.

it takes the forty seven hamsters running in the two hundred different wheels in my brain and reduces them to fifteen.  i’m still thinking too much but not about quite as many things.

i’ve read that people with add (which i have repeatedly been accused of having by women who are diagnosed with it) use marijuana to self medicate… and i believe it.

i would never have believed this add crap except that i heard how people with add react to meth.  crystal meth was my very favourite drug of all time.  crystal meth makes the world sparkle and everything come into focus and if ever a girl can be said to have loved an inert substance this girl can be said to have loved meth.

loved it.

still do but i haven’t done it in a decade or more… and will never consensually do it again.

i said that about cigarettes.

i said that about cigarettes and for eight years i didn’t smoke them and then i went to europe.

i went to europe and i didn’t have any marijuana and i bummed a butt.  and then i bummed another butt.

i smoked ten cigarettes in two weeks.

i smoked ten cigarettes and then promised myself when i came home that that was it.  but i’ve smoked probably ten more since i got home and each time i say no more i have another one.

always when i don’t have any weed.

and then i found out that potheads are prescribed anti anxiety meds and this was right about the same time that more than one really hot man (please know i don’t mean looks?) blew me off for admitting to smoking weed and i got to thinking.

i got to thinking that i knew why they were blowing me off.

because you know?  if i wasn’t a pothead?  i would be looking at me and thinking “what is it exactly that you are trying to dull with the weed?”

and i don’t know the answer.

and then i got to talking with this friend of mine.

this friend of mine who i love and would have married if he hadn’t met his wife before he met me.  it’s okay, we’re on each other’s ‘when i’m eighty’ list.  his wife is so awesome i almost hope i never get to shag him.  *clears throat*

we have smoked a lot of pot together he and i.  smoked a lot and talked a lot of deep truths and we got to talking about how we weren’t sure we wanted to be potheads anymore.

about how we didn’t really know why we did it anymore.  about how we weren’t sure we wanted to. about how the time was coming to quit but we weren’t quite ready.

but then i got to thinking some more… about how the problem with weed is that it steals your ambition.  it takes away the drive to do things and gives you some of that casual ease.

that’s the draw of course.

it’s relaxing and it’s a nice way to take yourself down at the end of the day.

but really, what is it that i’m trying to dull?

part of it is boredom.

part of it is frustration.

part of it really is the dulling effect.

but why do i need it?  what is it that i don’t want to face?

what’s changed that i’m smoking cigarettes (!!!!!) as though it’s okay and discussing bringing weed over international borders?

i mean what THE fuck?!?!

clearly something is going on.

so i guess i have some options (feel free to add to the list):

1. quit cold turkey.

2. quit cold turkey and meditate.

3. find a shrink, get drugs, quit, do counselling, quit drugs.

4. don’t quit

5. find a shrink,meditate, quit.

6. join narcotics anonymous.

7. some variation of the above.

i’m not sure which one to pick or what the good plan is, i would appreciate anyone with experience taking anti anxiety meds to comment especially… and anyone who has quit weed too.

it’s weird, i feel like i should stop and yet i’m not sure that i care.

which is, of course, the power of weed.

Posted in home remedy, life, marijuana, random, tobacco. 8 Comments »

disconnect

October 5, 2009 — badinfluencegirl

when i finally found my sex drive in my thirties i thought that i had found it.

i thought that knowing i had a sex drive and wanting sex would now be a permanent state.  but it isn’t.

it’s more like my ability to eat healthy and exercise.

sometimes it’s there and sometimes?  not enough will in the world.

these days i do cardio two or three times a week but i’m really aiming for three to four.  i do pilates a couple of times a week and otherwise i work on my feet every day.  i’m not eating well enough, i’m trying to but the carb cravings are killing me.

it’s some kind of comfort food thing, i haven’t been feeling very in the world the last few weeks.  i’ve wanted to stay home and watch television and eat pizza.  sort of wallow if you will.

i think, in effect, that i’m a little bit depressed.  not surprising, something always happens to be this time of year.  it’s my birthday and i guess it always gets me thinking about my decisions and my choices and who my friends are and what i want from my life and how i want to be living and.

i’ve been inside a lot.  i’ve discovered the sybaritic joy of oiling my skin after a shower or before a lovely masturbatory session at bedtime.  i haven’t really wanted to hang out with anyone i knew.

for some reason the only socialising that i’ve been in the mood for has involved new people.  strangers.

people around whom i can just be happy and quiet.  sort of be not sociable in a group as it were.  even if i’m sociable it’s that kind of light and easy conversation that’s not important.

you’re flirting, you’re not discussing the latest giant dramatic problem in the middle of your overly incestuous circle of friends.  flirting is easy.

putting your hand on the man’s shoulder as you reach up to speak in his ear and leaning your weight on his body to feel the hardness beneath the clothing.

touching the hair at the nape of a man’s neck because he says he’s in the military.  to see if it’s buzzed of course.

catching someone’s eye across a room and smiling a wicked little smile as you turn away.

you know, easy… candy for your soul.

my sex drive has been a little like my mood.

i’ve fucked myself so hard i’m sure the neighbours thought someone was giving birth next door but i haven’t even wanted to kiss the beautiful men.  i’m somehow deeply and fully alone these days and i’m not sure what, if anything, i care to do about it.

because see?  i’m kinda enjoying it.

i am noticing men and thinking about men and flirting heavily with someone but i’m in no hurry to get out of this disconnected place that i’ve been in for well over a month now.

i find myself hard pressed to care at all how long it’s been since i’ve spoken with friend x or y.  in fact some days i look at the phone and realise that if i don’t make this one call? i won’t talk to a single human all day.

part of this is the natural outcome of having a sociable job.  after a while the one thing you don’t want to do in your time off is speak with other humans.  i’ve found that people i date don’t really understand this and it gets me in trouble.

i’m a very extroverted person but i am also extremely solitary.  i go to restaurants and events and even travel alone and in some ways i like it better than having company.  with very few exceptions, the only reason i like to travel with people is to save money.

i imagine that if i met the guy for me we would either travel well together or simply take seperate vacations.

i can wander ten kilometres through a city and even stop for dinner and i will be charming and sociable with everyone i meet but maybe i won’t open any doors.  i will ultimately still be alone at the end of it.

and that doesn’t bug me.

it seems to me that as long as i manage not to drive too many of my real friends away while i’m hiding in an introspective yet sybaritic nest and so long as i continue to work enough then that’s okay.

it’s even okay if i also go out and meet people and go on dates.

because i am still myself, i’m just a little bit disconnected from it all.

but i don’t think it would be too hard to blink back into the full colour version of the world, i just don’t feel like it right now.  i feel like instead i’m finding things out about myself, maybe dating myself for a change.

i am horny all the time and masturbate pretty regularly.  i am reading lovely books and enjoying great tv shows.  i am eating too much comfort food but i am getting enough exercise so it balances out.  i am not wallowing in misery or wishing i was dead or whatever i’m just…not quite in the world.

and yet i have this quiet contentment all tied up with this unwillingness to get anything done.

i’m carrying condoms but i’m using them on a dildo.

interesting times.

Posted in blogging, condoms, dating, hormones, life, masturbation, random, sex, sex drive. 1 Comment »

slick

September 29, 2009 — badinfluencegirl

i take out the oil as i prepare myself while lounging naked on my bed with something playing on the screen.  i already know where i’m going with this and i have set myself a challenge: i wish to get myself aroused enough to take johnny without touching my clitoris.

idly i watch the show playing on the monitor but my attention is on my hands as they become saturated with oil from stroking it into my thirsty skin.  it is amazing how fast these little moments of decadence become necessities in our lives.  my discovery of oil over skin cream is fresh but permanent and i am delighted.

lovingly i lavish attention on my toes and feet, adding oil to the places that need it and making certain not to miss a millimetre as i rub moisture into my skin.  i drip oil up the side of my calf and then stroke it in as i let the show i’m watching pass through my brain.  my senses feast on the warmth of the room and the smoothness of my skin as it soaks the oil in like sunlight.

there is a texture that skin gets when it has been well loved that is somewhat indescribeable unless one loves pedicures or ridiculous amounts of skin care in a single afternoon.  somehow smooth and sleek and gloriously responsive.

pampered skin loves to be stroked the way shaved heads live to be rubbed, the glow draws you in and seduces you before you even really realise that’s happening.

eventually i am stroking oil into the creases at the base of my bottom and the grooves framing my well trimmed pubic hair.  the oil soaks easily into the relatively untouched skin and leaves it glowing in the dim light of the room.  i follow the grooves up to my stomach and navel and shiver at my own touch.

i stop, arrested, and stroke my fingertips over my hip and belly as lightly as i can still feel.  i am teasing my own ticklish response and hoping that someday it won’t tickle when someone else touches me just like this.  i suspect it has to do with easing the skin into it with much oiled rubbing.

any man i choose to have in my bed would consider that to be great fun for both of us, and he’d be right; which is why i hope to someday overcome my tickle reflex.

my oiled hands are travelling along my breasts now and following the gentle creases beneath them before stopping to fondle my nipples.  my hands have taken over now, i am simply enjoying the sensations they arouse.

little pulses of heat hit my center even as i continue up my chest and along my arms.  even the creases of my elbows are lavished with attention as i wait impatiently for the program to finish.

wait and stroke.

finding the creases at my hip and the base of my buttock.  flirting with the tickle reflex on my belly.  tracing the line at the bottoms of my breasts before sliding up to fondle a nipple.

i am restless now, body moving on the soft sheets even as the show on the screen winds down to it’s inevitable climax.  i continue running one hand along my now sensitized body even as i stand and prepare myself for bed; such preparations include sliding a condom on to johnny [silicone sticks to me, condoms don't] and placing him within easy reach.

it’s silent now, the computer and the lights off and even the roar of the subway is muted and far away like the old friend that it is.  i let my eyelids drift closed and continue playing with my body.  my nipples, lavished with attention, now come in for some rougher play.

i pinch and tweak and bite with my fingernails and feel the answering shafts of lust course through my pussy.  i know i’m soaked but i’m still not allowed to touch.  even as i feel my labia begin to part and my genitals swell and lubricate themselves.  one hand strokes my body, more roughly now, and the other starts to flick my nipple so fast and just hard enough that i am crying out, my hips lifting off the bed and my clitoris begging for attention.

i hear noises leaving my throat and feel my body moving on it’s own even as the first shocks tease me with what’s to come.  both nipples so sensitized now that the lightest touch causes me to gasp and arch and a pinch nearly floods the sheets.

little gushes are starting deep within me now and i grab johnny with one hand and tease myself with him.  i cover him with my natural lubricant and leave him, poised there at my entrance and pressing just hard enough that i know what’s coming.

i dip a finger in my well and tease my entrance a little and then johnny’s blunt head presses against me and starts to slide in.  i stay there, teasing my nipples with my lubricated finger and taking the first inch or two of johnny in and out.

my hips join the rhythm and start to press back against him as i slowly take his length in to my aching and begging body.  in and out, in and out he slides a little further each time until at last!  at last his base is nestled against me.

my finger drops to my clit even as johnny stays buried deep and thrusts just that last inch in and out.  i stroke once, twice, thrice and erupt all over my bed, spasms deep in my body rocking johnny as i slide him in and out and fuck myself.

i start fucking myself harder and harder even as my finger dances on my clit.  johnny is sopping and so are my sheets and i hear moans coming deep and low from my throat.  i am pretty sure the neighbours can hear me and this sends me off once more.

contractions seize my body and my hips buck and i lose track of reality for an unknowable time until, of their own accord, my thrusts slow and my hips drop gently back to the mattress while aftershocks massage the giant dildo locked deep in my pussy.

i leave it there a moment and glory in the spent pulsations coursing through me and then gently ease it from my body with a small gush of liquid.

i collapse, boneless, and lay there, pussy pulsing and little echo orgasms hitting randomly as i drift off in a daze of my own pheremones.

Posted in fucking, hormones, life, masturbation, random, sex, sex toys. Leave a Comment »

waking

September 11, 2009 — badinfluencegirl

i hadn’t felt like it in a while.

somehow the disappointing behaviour of a number of men combined with a mild depression left me with no real interest in sex; particularly funny since i had been studying it and teaching it throughout that time.

just didn’t care.  didn’t want to go back to having to use my own two hands instead of the delicious surprises from someone else’s, none of my toys appealed to me and furthermore the sun was never out!

it is amazing what getting kicked in the teeth by a man will do to your libido.  it is even more amazing what getting kicked in the teeth by a man you’re convinced is only afraid will do to your libido; it is yet more amazing what said kicking will accomplish if said man first spends weeks acting like this is the real thing.

so yeah, no libido for self-play and met only one man i was even willing to contemplate and he turned out to be a wash, although i confess there was some lovely necking.

still i never lost my sensuality or the simple pleasure to be found in the act of shaving my legs or washing my hair or eating delicious food; that moment of self pleasure that has everything to do with self-gratification and nothing whatsoever to do with sex.

generally i kept the smile on my face but i found myself embracing my introspective side, looking for the silence instead of the noise as it were; even when i was wandering another country i was mostly alone.  i could have made friends and i just didn’t care enough to bother.

i went to europe with the absolute conviction that i would have a fling while i was there and yet?  in spite of ridiculous numbers of smarmy men throwing themselves at me?  i didn’t even take the couple of nice ones up on it.

i just wasn’t interested even though there were condoms in my wallet.

and then the other afternoon i was in the shower and i took my time even with the shaving of my legs and as i stroked my skin to make sure i didn’t miss anything i felt that tell tale rush in my pussy that happens sometimes in moments like that.

and i considered the shower head… for about three seconds.

and then somehow through the day i never quite did anything about it but, unlike the past while, i felt the anticipation grow rather than fade and i thought that maybe i was going to do something about it this time.  i wasn’t expecting much, reawakening libidos are rarely all that interesting.

so i had a little fun with it.

i stroked my freshly shaved legs and charged a couple of vibrators and kind of generally wondered if tonight i was going to do something about this wandering libido of mine.  still wasn’t sure but was getting into the idea.

and then i decided to watch an episode of fringe instead of read before bedtime… naked, and lying in bed.  so i started to stroke my skin again.

and i noticed that my feet weren’t in very good shape.

so i creamed them.

and then it occured to me that my legs were freshly shaved.  so i lotioned them with firming, moisturising stuff that feels thoroughly interesting.  and then i realised that all of my skin was pretty dry.

so i oiled it.

i oiled myself slowly and carefully, making sure to apply the oil lovingly to any patch of skin that didn’t feel perfect. this felt so good that today i stopped at the store and got myself some more since i used the little i had left.

and then i checked how long fringe had left to go, not long okay…

and i began to work the oil into a few of the creases i had missed.

you know, the ones below my breasts and around my nipples.  the ones that start at the hip bone and wrap around your bottom to poke out the side where your butt folds against your leg when you walk.

the inner creases of the elbows and the spaces between the toes had attention lavished upon them at least equivalent to that stroked across my oiled but not overly slippery nipples.

fringe ended and i made a comment or two about my state and got my life ready to shut down for the night before i returned to my bed.

i placed pillows for my hips and covered them with a towel.

i picked up my chosen toy* and laid back to let it vibrate against my nipples.

did i mention that i had been pulsing for ages already?  no?

i felt the pulsing quicken and deepen instantly as the vibrator teased my right nipple and warned the rest of me what was coming.  i felt contractions and little gushes leaving my body almost immediately and i started to moan deep in my throat and liquid soaked my already soaked pussy and…

i started to come.

i started to come and i hadn’t even touched my vagina yet.  but i did.  i took my vibe and i pressed it to my entrance and let it dance there as i covered it in liquid and my body lost a little control of itself.

and i let my eyes drift closed and i danced the vibrator and my fingernails across my nipples and ever so lightly against my clitoris and i realised that this would not be enough for me so i reached for my big cock** and i stuck a condom on it and i shoved it against my entrance and stuck my vibrator against it’s base.

shoved and pushed and groaned and moaned and flickered my finger on my clit as i shoved the giant penis*** deep into my body and shuddered and spasmed all around it before i let go with a guttural groan and pushed it back out again.

pushed it back out and danced on my clit until the aftershocks faded away and i drifted off to sleep with pulses still rocking my body.

[elapsed time after i hit the bed?  forty minutes]

* womolia heat – see review

** johnny by vixen – see smut

*** no, i didn’t need lube.

Posted in blogging, home remedy, life, love, masturbation, random, sex, sex drive, sex toys. 8 Comments »

park

August 4, 2009 — badinfluencegirl

they wandered, arms around one another, through the streets of their town.  they talked of inconsequentials, their attention focused ever so much more on the hands that were exploring waistlines and backs.  hands that slid gently into pants and caressed the satin skin beneath.

he growled deep and low in his throat as he slid the rough pad of his thumb across the top of her buttocks and realised that she was knicker free beneath her skirt.  she shivered at the near tickle on private skin and smiled.

the park was overgrown due to the city workers strike and she thrilled at the feel of the long grass against her freshly shaven legs.  the decadence in the overblown shrubbery and flowers suited her mood perfectly.  they steered each other to a bench beneath a tree and sat, arms still wrapped around each other.

they talked sporadically, fingers stroking arms and arms reaching farther around.  their shoulders turned toward each other as he pulled her legs across his lap and smiled into her shadowed face.  they looked at each other for a long moment.

looked and then he quirked his lips just a little and started kissing her cheeks and her eyelids and tracing her jawline with long fluttery touches of his questing mouth.  her mouth slackened somewhat and she felt her hair caress his hand as she tipped her head back.  he smiled into her neck and trailed kisses down to her collarbone and along it.

she trembled.

his lips traced a cool line back along her collarbone to the hollow of her throat and then up to the lobe of her ear.  he nipped once, a little sharply, and she gasped and her eyes flew open as her head lifted to meet his gaze and he laughed and kissed her mouth.

they kissed this way for seconds or hours, neither of them was ever sure.

kissed and stroked and fondled until their breath was hot and their hands were no longer making any pretence of staying over their clothing.  he tore his mouth away long enough to lift her onto his lap, long enough to encourage her to let her legs part just a little, long enough to unsnap her bra with one stroke of his hand, just long enough to slide her shirt up and suckle her nipple.

she gasped and let out a tiny moan before sliding her hand between them to yank up his shirt and tease his nipple with her bluntly manicured nails.  little nibbles with her fingers and flickers had his nipple standing at attention instantly.  her other hand slid down to rake up his back, his body arched and his head falling back to free them to continue kissing.

she tore her lips away with a groan of her own and repositioned herself so that she was straddling him; her soaked folds pressing against the erection straining inside his shorts.  he tore his shirt off and pulled hers to her armpits and they were naked chest to chest as they writhed against each other, hands wild and tongues mating.

she felt herself shuddering deep inside and couldn’t bear it.  couldn’t bear it like this so she tore his button free and dragged his zipper down and grabbed his penis and pressed it’s length against her sopping channel.  pressed it there and writhed with him, rode against him as her clitoris used his penis as a masturbation tool and felt herself soaking his shorts as she rode.

he grabbed her bottom and helped her use him, squeezed and pressed into her sopping folds as she panted against his neck.  he felt her quake, knew she was close and leaned in to bite deeply where her neck met her shoulder.  bit and then released to blow and she cried out and shuddered against his raging penis as tremors and little gushes of liquid left her collapsed against him.

they laughed together and he reached into a pocket, pulled out a little packet and looked at her significantly.  she glanced around the park and nodded once, decisively before taking it from him and rolling the condom on to his dripping cock.

he kissed her long and thorough and then stood her up and turned her around, kicking her legs a little further apart.

“sit” he said.

and she did.

with a long groan of satisfaction she slid straight down his penis to grind her ass into his lap.  he slid forward on the bench and then used his arms to drive her up and down his length

“play with yourself”

and she reached before her and started to stroke her sensitised clitoris and the quakes started almost immediately.  he groaned his satisfaction and used her as she came all over his shorts and his shuddering penis.  came and came until she cried out heedless of the public park she was fucking in.

she shuddered and quaked and pulsed and gushed and he died a little and went to heaven and fought her as long as he could before finally, with a long and blissful groan, he erupted into her twitching pussy and they collapsed, spent on a bench in the middle of a park.

slowly they came to themselves and laughed, delighted and embarrassed.  they talked a little and necked some more as they tidied themselves up before she said “i’m so sorry i have to go…”

and he answered “i do too.  oh my it was wonderful to meet you, may i call you?”

Posted in dogging, exhibitionism, exhibitionist, fantasy, fucking, outdoors, public, random, sex, sex fantasy, voyeurism. 9 Comments »
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