i want the impossible man. i want one whose brain stimulates me like an ass i once knew… and i want one whose body gets me screaming hot like the last man i dumped and the first guy who gave me a non self-induced orgasm. i miss the last man i dumped a lot which is pretty funny because i dumped him because i didn’t miss him.
i miss fucking him a lot though. he loved to go down, did it like a champion and wasn’t afraid to employ fingers to help out. plus? he was 6’4 which is NICE when you’re just shy of six feet yourself.
unfortunately his brain did nothing for me. guy i’ve had a couple of dates with? great brain.
i’m hoping for more chemicals to develop as i get to know him, that tends to happen with brains i find hot… currently i’m doing the date him since it’s not like anyone else is asking thing. i suspect if i keep him around i’ll just fall for him. doesn’t hurt that he cooks.
but i don’t think that he’ll slam me up against a wall.
i’m not sure he’ll be the kind of man who will grab my wrists and hold them above my head while he tortures me with his lips and fingers. *pant*
and i could, easily, just let him find this blog someday and then he would know, but that wouldn’t work for me, i need this place to stay mine. a couple of my neighbours know about it but they don’t count. oh and one friend, but she’s a special case.
i think i’m having a hard time getting past his lack of fitness. i know that seems shallow but i work in the industry and it’s hard not to want to whip him into shape. is it rude that i want to get a man working out? i mean it seems like a healthy enough desire right?
and *i* have pretty muscles so i want whoever i have around to have them too. not enough to give up the right brain, but enough that i wonder if i’ll spark physically with him.
he’s nice to kiss but not… i can’t explain, but that last guy? we kissed good night at the end of our second date and it just sizzled. i slept with him SO much faster than i meant to. this guy? yeah not so much. it was nice and i liked necking with him but i didn’t feel any particular desire to rip his clothes off.
if it’s not there at the beginning is it real if it shows up later?
i want the fantasy. i want a man that i like who makes my brain aroused and one who gets my juices flowing with his unbearable hotness. and you’d be surprised what i think is hot.
i want a man who makes me feel small. i want a man that i miss when he isn’t around. i want a man who fills me to the brim and maybe a smidgen more.
i want a man that i can’t stop kissing because the kissing is just so good… it’s just i need our brains to match up.
alternately? i want to meet a stranger in a bar and fuck him silly against the back wall… and i don’t care to know his name.
lord but a fuckbuddy would come in really handy right now.
hot cock, delicious mouth, fingers… oh the fingers!
my entire being is suffused with nameless and undirected lust.
i am lust. lust is me. targetless lust is an odd place to be.
