badinfluencegirl

[edited to add: this toy sucks, don't waste your money.  in fact i've tossed mine in the trash]

for those of you that missed it i ordered my first ever sex toy recently. okay shut up, the riding crop doesn’t count and i bought that in person. [please note, i will re-review this toy after i increase my collection and have comparables.]

it’s not that i don’t like my irabbit… exactly.

and it’s not that i like my irabbit… exactly.

doc johnson has made a beautiful vibe with all sorts of wonderful tricks and triggers except for one little thing.

there is no way to turn down the clitoral stimulator enough. it’s fine when i’m not that aroused, and conversely it’s fine when i’m REALLY aroused but otherwise?

yeah not so much.

it showed up with such promise, all beautiful and blue and feeling a lot like actual skin especially after it was lubed up.

when i slid it into my mouth it even tasted sort of like skin, if skin had no taste. okay that doesn’t make sense. it felt like skin but tasted of nothing. i could swirl my tongue around it for days on end but it would never leave that wonderful taste in the back of my throat that lingers long after you’ve sucked a dick and brushed it off your teeth.

damm i love that flavour.

anyway i opened the box and admired the pretty blueberry coloured toy and found some batteries and figured out the controls.

and then i left it there for a while and i stared at it and i blogged and i watched tv and i was aware of it but i didn’t really touch it.

i mean it’s kind of intimidating right? this thing i’ve never touched. all rubbery and blue and electric and not flesh. other than a hairbrush handle and a cucumber or two (that’s the real number) i’ve never really used anything to fuck myself before.

so i take it to bed and i mess around with it and i do come i really do. sort of.

and that’s just it. all i can get out of this thing is a sort-of orgasm. it’s like this weird release thing that isn’t actually any fun because my body feels like it got driven there way faster than it intended and somehow my clit goes oversensitive and numb at about the same time.

so i started trying different things. i read smut and got super aroused and left the pearls against my clit and turned them on and let them do their magic and that was fun and then i was really horny and wanted it inside me….

so i slid it in and trust me, i was ready.

and inside? inside this thing is pretty good. if you get the angle wrong it sort of gets stuck a bit just inside but otherwise in it goes and the way the head moves is awesome.

except now i’m using the clit stimulator part on my actual clit and i have to turn it up and turn it up and i start to lose it and my little button gets sensitive and i turn it down as far as it will go and?

it’s too much.

some strange almost orgasm and definetely some clenching and pulsing of the inner muscles but no lovely explosion of pleasure like i can do to myself…

and definetely no way to stall and ‘ride the edge’ like i love to do…

i’ve tried it in the shower, on the bed, in the chair, on the couch and pretty much any other way i can think of and i can’t actually have much fun with this thing.

in fact AFTER i use it i’m sort of numb for a day or so and i can’t really masturbate by hand to satisfaction until i’ve recovered.

that doesn’t seem right to me you know?

it especially doesn’t seem right because i’m a woman who has played with clothes pins on her labia and spanked her clitoris for fun… in fact i like a little pain with my pleasure on occasion.

i can see how this vibe would work really well for someone who has a LOT of sex, they’re likely less sensitive than i am and this thing would drive them to the edge fast and hard and they would probably love it.

in fact if i ever start having sex with a man again i’ll have my partner use it on me and see if he can manage to make it more fun…

regardless, next time i’m getting just the dick part [cause i really love having a phallus inside me but if you fuck yourself with this you pretty much have to use the rabbit ears] and maybe one with some more creative moves (suggestions accepted with glee) and a seperate clitoral egg or vibe or dolphin or whatever.

preferably one with a more interesting repertoire.

in fact i’ll solicit suggestions.

see it turns out that i need a vibe that’s gentle as hell or i can’t enjoy it… i think.

all i know is that my favourite thing to do with it is rub myself with the moving pearls and that ain’t supposed to be all you use a rabbit vibe for now is it?

nope, not so much.

so, am i just spoiled from my magic fingers and awesome partners?

that seems a little unlikely to me. after all in the last four years i’ve fucked two men and both of them were since may. one for a few weeks and one just once.

technically i’ve made contact with three dicks in that time actually since i played with that guy at that concert…

anyway the point is that i don’t think i’m particularly spoiled… perhaps i’m picky… perhaps sex toys aren’t for me…

wait what?

that makes no sense.

okay so i give this vibe three stars for great feel and great head movement and it loses two for shitty clit stimulation and one for bead binding… and i humbly request suggestions of toys i might prefer…

final verdict, five our of ten.