badinfluencegirl

my friend j, well call her jess but that is not her name, has a saying. now to understand this properly you have to get that jess is taller than i am and i’m 5’11 and she has perfect blonde hair, model features, gorgeous blue eyes that mesmerize you the instant you see them, perfect bones and a mouth you can’t believe unless you see it.

picture uma thurman with more angles okay? and she’s a big powerful businesswoman too. so one day last year (after i dumped my lover the first time) she looks at me and says completely deadpan

“you know what i always say…”

and i, knowing a straight line when i hear one say ‘no, no i don’t know what you always say.’

“the best way to get over a man is to get under another one”

and last night, after i stalked out in a magnificent cold rage i decided to put it into play. i kind of knew in advance i would do it so i was dressed all nice and hot.

incidentally, is it wrong that while meeting with my ex-lover i looked incredibly hot and i was licking a lollipop like i wanted to stick it in the back of my throat through the whole conversation?

i strode over to a bar a few blocks from my house and wandered in and picked out a spot at the bar and tried and tried to get the lady bartenders to see me.

not a chance

so i changed places and leaned into the bar and this man across the bar sort of reared his face back as though he knew me and i mimicked his gesture and he made a drink drink gesture with his hand and i nodded and he made come this way with his head and i did.

by far the sweetest pick-up i have ever experienced.

and then he and his friends bought me drinks and entertained me for a couple of hours and he flitted around and i flitted around but always we came back to each other in this inevitable way (though his friend tried to put the moves on me so it wasn’t as though i was claimed) and i was getting drunk and it was lovely.

i had so much pissn’vinegar inside me last night it wasn’t funny. i went looking for the proverbial trouble and i think i may have figured out where to find it whenever i’m looking for it.

and then he insisted on walking me home.

he held my hand and chatted about life and worried about my feet when i took my shoes off and then we sat on the bench outside my building and made out like teenagers.

for like two hours. god it was lovely.

and he had the cutest little habit. he would like take a fistful of my hair and say something like “thick, crazy, long hair… yay” and he just kept saying yay. i was kind of captivated.

i don’t think he’ll call me although he did inform me that we had the chemistry and that i couldn’t hold out three dates without fucking him.

i laughed and said five or six at least.

such lovely necking, like a teenage girl on a hot summer night.

and later? after i sleep and post a really beautiful post i wrote the other day about my ex lover i’m going to write down what i imagined doing to him while i was necking with him.

seriously like i’d nibble his ear and he’d go ‘yay’ and i just thought it was the so cute!

eventually i just had to crash because i haven’t been sleeping well and you can’t do my job without your brain.

i’d like it if he calls but i don’t think he will… and so i’ll go back there next week and see who i can find ;>

now as for miss jess?

i could kiss her, she’s dead right!

incidentally i’ve figured out a little better how to pick up men. i knew but i didn’t realise. i didn’t give a SHIT last night and they were all over me… see what i’m saying?

incidentally what is with guys thinking they have to pretend they’re falling for you when you’re already necking with them and have made it clear you will go no further? (and trust me, i was the kind of trouble that you don’t underestimate last night.)