review: little chroma

October 29, 2007 — badinfluencegirl

the lovely folks at libida.com have struck again, this time with the little chroma vibrator. at first i must confess that i was skeptical.

i mean really now, a single speed vibrator that costs a hundred and fifty dollars? seriously?

it arrived, quietly and unassumingly in it’s little box (thank you little chroma manufacturers for NOT using five pounds of packaging for a six ounce toy) and i started to understand just a little.

you clean this toy with mild soap and water, if you want to put it in the dishwasher you remove the REPLACEABLE motor and battery and do so and the single AA battery lasts OVER FIFTEEN HOURS!

okay, i think to myself, that’s pretty cool.  easy to clean, no boiling or buying special toy cleaner and lasts forever on a single battery which is hella handy for travelling.

let’s see now, turn it on by screwing on the little cap at the end and hey i can hardly hear it!   it’s super quiet but it does have a deep and most excellent rhythm.

sopping wet after a lunch date with enormous amounts of reciprocal teasing with my lover had me ready to go anyway so i decided what the heck, try it now and see.

i whipped out my little chroma, ripped off my clothes, grabbed a nice butt toy and sat it beside me with some lube and i was ready to go.

hmmm nice on my nipples… fails the inside of the wrist test… and my clit… oh my!

i mean oh my!!!  because whoever picked the frequency this baby vibrates at nailed my likes perfectly.  i mean perfectly. i nestled it into my clit and proceeded to fill my bum and almost before i knew it i was coming all over it.

the next time i saw my lover i had him try it on me and we learned that it doesn’t work very well as an internal vibrator on a woman because it isn’t curved (doesn’t enter that well, but i suspect an angle change would fix it) but that it works really well for anal play for him (probably me but i haven’t tried that yet.)

we further learned that this little magic device feels fantastic on the head of and around the penis!  i know!  he was as stunned as i was.  i guess the perfectly tuned vibrations (pressure changes depending on how far from the switch you are) really do match the frequency of the human body.

he went from flagging to boing! in about one minute flat!  not to mention that it works quite well along the channel toward his anus.

but i digress, this toy is fantastic.  it has rapidly moved to the head of the line in my toy box and is particularly nice paired with pandora on the g-spot.  i’m stunned to report that i cannot recommend this little wonder highly enough.

in fact i’m even taking it on my next vacation!

heck i’m throbbing right now!

Posted in life, masturbation, reviews, sex, sex toys, toy review. 7 Comments »

potty break

October 19, 2007 — badinfluencegirl

“i think you’d better take care of this yourself” i say to my lover one lovely day after we had been playing for many hours “we’ve teased him up and down so many times that i’m not sure anything i can do will keep him interested long enough to satisfy you.”

being a willing kind of man my lover takes himself into his own hands and begins to stroke, i help out a little by positioning myself just so and playing with myself for him.

i tease and i flutter and i stroke but i’m not particularly paying attention, i mean i want him to come and i would like to help in any way i can.

eventually he rises up and his strokes speed up and he starts to make certain faces and my long ignored bladder jumps to the fore.

“be right back, i hafta pee” i state and roll off the bed to the bathroom next door. i sit for a few moments, my equally teased body confused by the change in direction and wonder if i can ever manage to pee or if i should return to the other room to masturbate in front of my lover some more.

i hear the bed creak and he appears in front of me, fully engorged penis in his lazily stroking hand. he smiles at me and walks forward until his glistening head is at the edge of my mouth.

it opens and i lick my lips before taking his shaft into my eager hand and continuing the lazy stroking he had been doing. my mouth slides down and around his head and i tease at the frenulum with my tongue.

foreskin in hand i start to play. head bobbing in time with my hand i pull down on the skin to expose his whole head and then follow it with my mouth just an instant later.

as my head lifts i allow the foreskin to follow me, again just an instant later. i hear his breath catch and his hand catch at the door frame as i slowly torture him with my mouth and hand.

my other hand becomes lonely and i reach up to pull his bottom toward me and then stroke his perineum and cradle his balls in my hand. i begin to knead them gently.

i feel myself moan deep into my throat and he does an answering jump in my mouth and i speed my movements. second hand clenching and unclenching the base of him now as my mouth and hand slide up and down and i milk him for all i’m worth.

he groans and groans again and i feel the telltale pulsing at the base of his penis and speed my movements slightly as i feel my own body answer with a throb deep inside me.

i hear his breath catch and i continue, second hand holding his beautiful ass now as i speed up just a little more and there it is, his body spasms and he gasps as i feel him spurt into the back of my throat and i slow down instantly and gently, gently suck until my mouth is full of warm man.

i moan, deep in my throat and up high and not loud as i swallow and release him and we both laugh at my somewhat precarious perch on the throne.

who knew, toilets are the perfect height….

Posted in fellatio, life, masturbation, sex, voyeurism, war stories. 11 Comments »

on your mark

October 16, 2007 — badinfluencegirl

okay, here goes… i’m all sloppy, the condoms have arrived in the mail, he’s hard, i’m eager…

*deep breath*

*stare with combined glee and trepidation at beautiful phallus pointing straight at me*

okay

*admire ease of use of lovely condoms that have finally arrived*

*admire lovely texture as you stroke lover a little while he fits sheath on himself*

*lie back*

[this is where your grandmother would tell you to think of england]

let’s see, *hold him firmly and just gently start to press against him, feel him pushing and your out of practice body resisting*

*push back a little*

ow

*deep breath*

*withdraw*

*push*

*breathe breathe* dammit *breathe*

*pant*

ow

“shit forgot there’s no lube on these things”

*grab bottle of wet platinum silicone and drizzle on highly erect cock*

“go slooooooooooow”

*grab daunting but lovely penis with hand and sort of pull it out and slide it back in the teeny bit it’s managed to penetrate*

*inhale and think of opening and loosening and receiving*

*feel him slide in another inch*

ow

“unh”

*feel eyes close and breath try to catch*

*slowly slowly slowly slide in and out just a little… *

*repeat*

ow

*breathe breathe breathe*

“unhhh”

*actually push back with hips and feel that beautiful rhythm start up a little*

*pant*

no dammit breathe into your god damn cranky assed resistant vagina… come on get the blood flowing… *inhale… release…*

ow

*push and pull and push a little harder and pull out a little more and push even more and *

ow

and

*feel groooooooooooooan of self turning into a size queen on the spot*

*push and twist and oh there’s some more lube, god i love my body sometimes*

*and slide and feel him fill me to the cervix just enough to feel it but not enough to complain*

“unh”

“soft moan…” hey where did that come from?

*feel hips speed up and ankles lift to wrap around him*

*head drops back, eyes roll back into head*

*groan *

*pant*

dammit breathe

*groan*

*high pitched sigh*

ah there it is, slide home please

oh wow oh wow oh wow

*moan*

the rest, i must say, i leave to your imaginations….

Posted in condoms, fucking, life, random, sex, war stories. 9 Comments »

anniversaries… of a sort

October 10, 2007 — badinfluencegirl

i wrote this post last year… in fact i wrote it one year and three days ago… and somewhere in the middle of it i said this:

i want the fantasy. i want a man that i like who makes my brain aroused and one who gets my juices flowing with his unbearable hotness. and you’d be surprised what i think is hot.

i want a man who makes me feel small. i want a man that i miss when he isn’t around. i want a man who fills me to the brim and maybe a smidgen more.

i want a man that i can’t stop kissing because the kissing is just so good… it’s just i need our brains to match up.

alternately? i want to meet a stranger in a bar and fuck him silly against the back wall… and i don’t care to know his name.

what’s funny about this post?

i seem to be dating him now. i wasn’t expecting this when i sent someone an email offering him kittens. shut up you guys i mean cute black kittens… and if anyone wants a kitten in toronto let me know.

anyway he said ’sure, and how about brunch and scrabble too?’ which we then played to a tie.

i was going to write a post about how much my life has changed in the last year, talk about how i was lonely then and had no real prospects and my business was still struggling and so i went and took a peek at last year and i got to that post and i started to laugh.

i laughed because i met a man tall enough to make me feel small. i met a man who makes me feel like i have to work to keep up with his brain AND who feels that he has to work to keep up with mine.

we challenge and enjoy each other and forget that we have hands on genitals because the kissing is so good and forget to kiss because the talking is so good and most of all we laugh and laugh.

when i read him the lines above he said ‘we can pretend we don’t know each other and do that last one if you like…’ and i got a little answering throb in certain parts of me.

please tell me y’all don’t need me to spell out which parts!

unfortunately i haven’t slept with mr. big yet (thanks A. Secret for the great nickname which he also finds hilarious) because our god damn condoms haven’t shown up in the mail!!

i have, however, been practicing my fellatio because everything that i know is wrong when it comes to a penis with a foreskin.

so many things that i thought were ubiquitous to all penii (penises?) are utterly incorrect when it comes to this one due to it’s non-circumcised nature. which, it turns out, i like.

anyway it will be interesting to find out if it feels any different to fuck it…

oh you want to know how it’s different?

well you know how with a circumcised penis once you get it wet you have to keep it all lubed up? that if you stick a dry hand on a wet dick you’ll basically get the owner of said dick to yowl with displeasure due to your hand sticking to his penis?

it seems that if there is a foreskin involved the EXACT opposite is true. it’s like the skin itself is it’s own lube and you use it like a sleeve.

furthermore soaking the thing in magic lube (aka porn starry spit… go read chelsea girl’s how to deep throat a cock if you’re wondering what that is) seems to actually make it harder to get him to come. well at least for the first one…

i wonder if that makes the fleshlight experience different too.

i wonder all sorts of things and some of them involve NOT using condoms… like does the foreskin stick and the shaft moves independently or what?

okay i don’t actually believe that one but i do have many wonderings, not the least of which is ‘how did i get to be 36 and never play with a non-circumcised penis before?

or why oh why aren’t my condoms here yet?

or how funny is it that i wrote a recipe that actually arrived at my doorstep?

or why did wordpress lose the actual ending of this post?

or boys with foreskins are welcome to post advice… okay anyone is.

or oh god i want to get laid… and yet the waiting really is delicious.

[hey look, my blog broke a year!! you know most sex blogs don't make it that long]

Posted in condoms, dating, fantasy, fellatio, fucking, life, random, sex, sex fantasy, want ads. 7 Comments »

review: pandora

October 5, 2007 — badinfluencegirl

i have this policy with sex toys where i try them once and write the review on the spot if i LOVE them and twice if i hate them. so far i’ve never failed to stick to my first impression.

and then i met pandora.

the lovely folks from libida.com contacted me wondering if i would do toy reviews for them and of course i said yes. i mean really, who wouldn’t?

although i am welcome to choose anything i wish to review they have a few toys that they specifically want tested and i chose pandora from the list.

when she showed up i was underwhelmed. she isn’t very big and she requires watch batteries rather than something easy like triple a’s [though her batteries are included] and her vibrations were rather mild.

i remained underwhelmed the first time i tried her, she was a lovely clitoral vibe but i could hardly feel her on my g-spot. this may have been due to the butt plug in my ass since i kept getting their handles tangled up.

anyway i waited a few days and tried her again solo this afternoon and boy oh boy did she improve the second time around!

i started with a little clitoral stimulation and ran through all seven settings. the first three (low, medium, high) are just your standard vibration at three different speeds. there is no real difference between medium and high but it’s there.

surging, pulsing, and escalating followed and by far my favourite of those is pulsing. finally there’s ’super speed’ which isn’t. it’s just high in a different place on the scale.

i wish there was a forward and reverse for these settings because it’s frustrating having to turn off the vibe and then run through low when all you really want is to cycle between surging, pulsing, escalating and superspeed. well that’s all i really want when i’m about to come anyway.

after a while i got horny enough that i wanted to get serious so i stuck her inside and started to play with my g-spot. in true old school fashion i used my fingers on my clit while i tried pandora’s various settings.

i still didn’t feel her much so i flipped her around and used the wide middle rather than the tip and then? oh yeah, suddenly pandora and i were friends.

i left her there to do her magic and just changed the setting on occasion and was gratified to feel my pelvic floor seize her and pull her in with no prompting from me (i love when it does that!) while i just kept sliding around in my now sopping slit. [i did NOT have to hold her in, she just sat there like she was designed to be there. come to think of it? she was.]

i could feel the vibrations through my body and i noticed the telltale little gushes of g-spot stimulation even as i had a decidedly satisfying orgasm and i left her there and gloried in the aftershocks for a time before i pulled her out.

on a ten scale pandora is a solid eight. she loses points because when you rinse her you nearly always end up getting the battery compartment wet and having to dry everything in there off and because super really isn’t and because she needs a little bit more intense buzz to really finish off a clitoral orgasm.

that said, she does a lovely job on the g-spot (if you have one) and as a clitoral warmup and is definetely worth her $29.99 price tag. if i can manage to surrender her to my lover i’ll let you know how she does with the prostate too!

Posted in reviews, sex, sex toys, toy review, war stories. Leave a Comment »

god dammit!

October 1, 2007 — badinfluencegirl

okay seriously

i know, i know, i’m being all smug because mr. new guy is rather well hung. well i’m not being NEARLY so smug now let me tell you.

see, i’m allergic to latex.

yeah. and there is the durex avanti which fits small, the trojan supra which… isn’t (but is bigger than the avanti in that it ALMOST considered fitting on his considerable girth but yeah that’s it.) so i look and i look and i look.

shit i’m getting aroused just writing this.

so i search high and low and all over the internet and then i find THIS and i think “oh thank god!” (the supra is 57mm or an inch and a half to an inch and three quarters and these are 70mm) and so i go looking around and calling stores and nothing.

NOTHING?!?!?

so i call the nice man at mayer labs and i say ‘hey, what’s up with that?’ or ‘hey do you have any suppliers in canada?’ and he says no. no we don’t because the last few boxes that we have are reserved for internet orders.

LAST FEW BOXES?

WHAT?

but but but badinfluencegirl wants to fuck. a lot!

so i order a couple of boxes and they’re having a ‘buy one get one free’ sale which makes it four which might get me through a couple of weeks but is at least enough to try the damm things. if they fit him? i’m ordering a case!

but damm. i CANNOT be the only woman out there allergic to latex right?

right?

can i really be the only woman out there allergic to latex AND fucking a man who wears a magnum? really? gosh that’s no fun at all.

and now? now i have to wait until the fucking things SHOW UP and then try them and hope they fit and then?

and then?

i get to fuck him.

i get to sit on that beautiful penis and slide myself down it ever so slowly until i get to the bottom and then slide right back up until almost but not quite he falls out and then down i will slide once more…

and what if they don’t fit? please just join with me in praying that they do!

speaking of fit, this is one big boy i have here kids and i am feeling a little daunted. my last lover was not that big and i didn’t really have to do any work at all to fit him but this one is… well, considerably larger and considering how hard he is to fit in my mouth i have some concerns.

now, i know damm well that the female parts do stretch and i’ve had a hand four fingers wide (no bend in the knuckles) inside me so i know i CAN stretch to fit but guys it’s been MONTHS!

in fact it’s been three months and the machinery has shrunk back to it’s original pre-lover relatively celibate woman size.

and this man?

NOT SMALL!

okay sorry.

anyway am i stoked about taking him in every way i can imagine?

fucking right.

however, i’m trying to figure out how to get there beyond ‘have lots of orgasms and practise with your most giant dildo and lots of fingers’ and i’m curious if y’all have any suggestions.

in the meantime, i’m going to go fantasize that the condoms that i just ordered from the internet will magically arrive tomorrow along with an industrial sized vat of lube and a glass toy approximately sixty millimetres (edited because originally i wrote inches – ouch!) in diameter.

*

speaking of toys, i have a review coming of pandora which the lovely folks at libida.com kindly mailed me for my opinions. also some new reviews are up on my homepage at edenfantasys.com so do check them out!

Posted in condoms, fucking, life, random, reviews, sex, sex toys, toy review, war stories. 7 Comments »