i wrote this post last year… in fact i wrote it one year and three days ago… and somewhere in the middle of it i said this:
i want the fantasy. i want a man that i like who makes my brain aroused and one who gets my juices flowing with his unbearable hotness. and you’d be surprised what i think is hot.
i want a man who makes me feel small. i want a man that i miss when he isn’t around. i want a man who fills me to the brim and maybe a smidgen more.
i want a man that i can’t stop kissing because the kissing is just so good… it’s just i need our brains to match up.
alternately? i want to meet a stranger in a bar and fuck him silly against the back wall… and i don’t care to know his name.
what’s funny about this post?
i seem to be dating him now. i wasn’t expecting this when i sent someone an email offering him kittens. shut up you guys i mean cute black kittens… and if anyone wants a kitten in toronto let me know.
anyway he said ‘sure, and how about brunch and scrabble too?’ which we then played to a tie.
i was going to write a post about how much my life has changed in the last year, talk about how i was lonely then and had no real prospects and my business was still struggling and so i went and took a peek at last year and i got to that post and i started to laugh.
i laughed because i met a man tall enough to make me feel small. i met a man who makes me feel like i have to work to keep up with his brain AND who feels that he has to work to keep up with mine.
we challenge and enjoy each other and forget that we have hands on genitals because the kissing is so good and forget to kiss because the talking is so good and most of all we laugh and laugh.
when i read him the lines above he said ‘we can pretend we don’t know each other and do that last one if you like…’ and i got a little answering throb in certain parts of me.
please tell me y’all don’t need me to spell out which parts!
unfortunately i haven’t slept with mr. big yet (thanks A. Secret for the great nickname which he also finds hilarious) because our god damn condoms haven’t shown up in the mail!!
i have, however, been practicing my fellatio because everything that i know is wrong when it comes to a penis with a foreskin.
so many things that i thought were ubiquitous to all penii (penises?) are utterly incorrect when it comes to this one due to it’s non-circumcised nature. which, it turns out, i like.
anyway it will be interesting to find out if it feels any different to fuck it…
oh you want to know how it’s different?
well you know how with a circumcised penis once you get it wet you have to keep it all lubed up? that if you stick a dry hand on a wet dick you’ll basically get the owner of said dick to yowl with displeasure due to your hand sticking to his penis?
it seems that if there is a foreskin involved the EXACT opposite is true. it’s like the skin itself is it’s own lube and you use it like a sleeve.
furthermore soaking the thing in magic lube (aka porn starry spit… go read chelsea girl’s how to deep throat a cock if you’re wondering what that is) seems to actually make it harder to get him to come. well at least for the first one…
i wonder if that makes the fleshlight experience different too.
i wonder all sorts of things and some of them involve NOT using condoms… like does the foreskin stick and the shaft moves independently or what?
okay i don’t actually believe that one but i do have many wonderings, not the least of which is ‘how did i get to be 36 and never play with a non-circumcised penis before?
or why oh why aren’t my condoms here yet?
or how funny is it that i wrote a recipe that actually arrived at my doorstep?
or why did wordpress lose the actual ending of this post?
or boys with foreskins are welcome to post advice… okay anyone is.
or oh god i want to get laid… and yet the waiting really is delicious.
[hey look, my blog broke a year!! you know most sex blogs don't make it that long]
