badinfluencegirl

ETA: UPDATE: figleaf has posted a commentary on this post which is very interesting.  find it here.

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for some reason i was always one of those girls who believed that masturbating yourself while having sex with a partner was rude.

yes, i get that that’s ridiculous, in fact i’ve gotten that that’s ridiculous for a while now.

i have a lot of things to thank my ex-lover for and a whole bunch of sex without any real emotional attachment is something everyone should try at least once. when you do that you eliminate a lot of the emotional decision making that tends to get tied up with ‘making love’ rather than fucking.

leaving aside the endless argument as to where making love breaks off and fucking starts let me just say that people who make love can most certainly fuck but that unemotional fucking is what i mean here.

when you’re making love you have to be sensitive to your partner’s feelings and you have to try to work your suggestions into the session without being quite as declarative about what you might want. or at least that’s what i used to think.

i thought that right up until i was fucking my ex-lover and he wanted to fuck and i wasn’t feeling really ready yet but i did it anyway and since i didn’t give a fig about him i reached down and i started to masturbate myself.

i did this cautiously because i really did believe that a man would get insulted by a woman helping herself out during sex. yeah, i don’t get what i was thinking either.

his response was, needless to say, not what i expected. he proceeded to get more turned on and say something along the lines of “oh yeah” and then charge forward with every evidence of greater enjoyment.

this was astonishing to me. wait wait wait, you mean if i help myself out that will turn you on???

so i started to do it a little more often with him, not very because he was (and most likely still is) an avid cunnilinguist with a penis that recharges as many as five times a day and so i was usually quite well satisfied without needing to help myself along but nonetheless i did it occasionally.

it’s funny that i ever found it strange since i always (and still do) liked it when a man helped himself during fellatio. in fact it made fellatio more fun for me when they participated… and yet i still thought it was weird.

my current partner is different from my ex lover in several ways. for one he has a penis which is fucking enormous so i pretty much have to be sloppy or shit don’t work right. for another he doesn’t have the power of instant recharge that my former lover did (feel free to suggest ways to train that if you know any) though he is multi orgasmic… but most importantly he is not an emotionless fuck.

or perhaps the term is zipless fuck?

regardless, this is a man with whom i am having (awesome!) sex for certain but over and above that i’m falling for him. don’t worry, the feeling is mutual. anyway i had masturbated in front of him and he had played his penis in front of me and we’ve fucked and we’ve sucked but i had not, as yet, played my own button while we were fucking.

and then came the other day,

i was not there yet when the time for fucking came and i was feeling sulky about my not there yetness so i licked my finger and reached down and started to play.

and lo and behold he got all hot(ter) and bothered(er) and said something like “oh yeah i want to feel you come all over me” which had the lovely effect of getting me hotter still and then there was some excellent positive reinforcement where i masturbated which caused my pelvic floor to throb and he gasped and groaned which forced me to relubricate all over him and yeah.

i started to come and he just kept on fucking me and i just started to come and come and come until i utterly lost track of reality and i was bucking and crying out and he was gasping and groaning and then he came and finally i took my finger off myself and we just kept going like the energizer bunny of orgasms until when all was said and done he had come five (FIVE!) times and i had come the entire time he was coming (five!!) repeatedly.

it may have ended up one of the most sublime sexual experiences of my life and i know that he likened it to a fourteen out of ten so i know he isn’t disagreeing.

in fact he said that he hadn’t come that many times from sex before and i know that i hadn’t come that much from fucking ever and all because i got over myeslf.

instead of sulking about how i hadn’t had a throbbing orgasm yet and my lover wanted to fuck already i just reached down to take care of myself and then?

and then i got to feel my vagina shudder and throb and gush all over my beautiful man as i felt him pulse and shudder within me. those two things have gone together before in my life but i’m not sure they were ever like that.

i mean really, five times?? he’s usually happy with two or three!