review: fun factory bendy beads

January 29, 2008 — badinfluencegirl

you know i’m really starting to like this getting toys to review thing… i really, really dig getting little packages delivered to my door filled with wonders and i especially dig when they’re purple!

so, the lovely folks at libida.com have sent me another one of fun factory’s beautiful pieces and this one is designed for your bottom.  the bendy beads are a lovely, purple (or black), molded silicone shape reminiscent of a string of anal beads and yet somehow not the same.

there is a hook at the end for easy removal and to prevent your pushing the toy in too far and above that are five graduated balls on a ‘string’ about a foot long all together.

i whipped out my rather large bottle of non-silicone lube and a vibrator and set out to play.  after a few moments with my trusty vibe i was ready and raring to go so i lubed up the beads and went to town.

because they’re marketed as anal and vaginal beads i tried them on my vagina first.  not too exciting.  they go in a certain distance and then hit the wall of the vagina and poke uncomfortably while still not being large enough at the entrance to do much.   that’s all right, i never figured them for a vaginal toy anyway.

off to my bottom we go.

the first bead is about the size of a large marble but ovoid and it was by far the hardest to maneuver.  the spaces between the beads are flexible and bendy (hence the name) and you basically have to hold the second bead and sorta ride the bending as you push the first bead in.

this is easier than it sounds because it’s vaguely pointy and it wants to slide in.  the second and third beads are pretty easy for someone who has at least used a small butt plug and the fourth is just large enough that it starts to be a little work to get it in.

in fact the first time i tried them i couldn’t go all the way to the fifth bead as i just was not aroused enough.  my favourite thing to do with this toy is actually to push in the fourth bead and then pull it halfway out and then push it back in and then repeat.

delicious!

anyway this is a great toy, it’s cheap (under forty bucks even with the tax) and it’s pretty and you can boil it to clean it and it feels good and it suits the anal virgin and someone with some experience ‘back there.’

In fact unless your bum is a size queen?  you’ll like this toy.  After all, it’s not about something being IN your ass it’s about something opening your anal sphincter and this toy does that like a champ.

thanks libida!

Posted in masturbation, reviews, sex, sex toys, toy review. 4 Comments »

visions

January 25, 2008 — badinfluencegirl

i have this recurring fantasy.

it’s not the kind of fantasy that you ever put into practice, at least not anywhere anyone you know might find you but i’m willing to bet that it’s pretty common.

it only ever comes out of the woodwork when i’m masturbating by myself and having a hard time actually getting myself aroused enough to enjoy myself or when i’m not quite getting the job done and i need my brain to help me out.

you see i’m usually the kind of woman who gets off by thinking about what she’s doing to get off, kind of like:

“oh man i’m so wet!

feel how slick and slippery my slit is!

mmmmmmmm tinglies…

oh god that feels so good, just a little faster…

hrm, do i need a toy?”

you know, like that. so i don’t normally have to fantasize very much and if i do it’s generally about some nebulous head licking me or whatever.

except for this one recurring fantasy.

it’s interesting to me because it returns and because it involves doing nothing more than what i’m already doing; that is masturbating. except that the setting changes and only slightly.

the ceiling becomes a thing through which people can see. in fact, there are people watching me through the ceiling and i can’t see them. i know they are there and that they are watching me but i cannot actually see them.

they are many the folks that are watching. they are many and many of them are playing with themselves as well just from watching me as i slide my fingers around myself.

they watch as i tease and pinch and tweak my nipples, they watch as i dance my fingers down my belly and tickle my pubic hair, they watch as my face changes and my body tenses.

i feel them there watching me, groaning along with me and leaning over the rail for a better view, eyes intently staring at my tiniest motions as i tease myself for them.

nearly always i slow down at this point and start to put on a show. i play with my nipples and tease my clitoris until my labia fall open on their own. i allow my hips to rise more than they otherwise might and i most definitely make more noise.

sometimes, not every time but sometimes, there’s a camera pointing straight down in the middle of this room above me. a camera focussed on my face as i play with myself and my face moves through whatever contortions it will move through as i lose myself in the pleasure i am inflicting on my body.

often the watchers are sitting around a railing in a club like atmosphere with cigars and scantily clad waitresses. often they are naked and sitting on kitchen chairs. occasionally they are dressed all in formal attire and not touching themselves. at times they are all coming all over the one way glass that is separating us.

i will moan and twitch and buck my hips. i will cry out and groan and gasp for breath and finally, mercifully, with one last good thrust of my pelvis i will come in great waves of tingles and electric shocks that run through my body.

and they, they will nod approvingly and check the tape before retiring once more to the back of my little brain and i? i will collapse, spent upon my sheets with that particular smile on my face that only my lovers ever see.

Posted in exhibitionism, fantasy, masturbation, sex, sex fantasy, voyeurism. 7 Comments »

bumpity bump

January 22, 2008 — badinfluencegirl

i have recently ensconced myself in an epsom salts bath. i did this because the lovely lady who stabbed me repeatedly with an electrically charged needle told me to.

i also did this because i wanted to.

this is funny because i NEVER take baths. i never take baths because they’re boring and they annoy me. okay fine, i take a bath like once a year when i’m in that perfect mood and have the appropriate kind of book and a day off.

so you’re getting that i’m not a huge fan of baths. in fact, other than the one with the epsom salts and the one with the live apple cider vinegar (eases bladder infection symptoms while waiting for the meds to kick in) i have taken exactly one bath in my tub since i moved in to this place last winter.

but boy oh boy did i dive in to the bath yesterday… and i sure will again tomorrow. i will do this because it eases the itching caused by having several hundred hairs on my body murdered by said electric needle.

murdered most foully in a state sanctioned manner that causes them to fuck off and stay off for ever. okay well if you do the murdering like six times then it stays off forever, otherwise it will come creeping back in like some infection you thought you’d conquered.

the murder is only foul to the owner of the hair by the way, the hair itself appears not to care at all. the skin that is attached to the hair mind you? not so happy.

not so happy at all!

in fact it comes up all little red bumps and looks something like the worst case of razor burn ever in the history of the universe. no seriously, like ever.

imagine a pair of bikini underwear with absolutely no pubic hair sticking out either side. now add a zillion little red bumps where that hair USED to be. yeah, that’s what i look like.

isn’t that just the most attractive image ever?

yeah, i thought so too.

the thing is? this costs about three times as much as waxing the first time and gets steadily cheaper after that… and you know what?

AFTER the hair is gone (4-8 sessions depending on various factors) you’re DONE! no more bikini line forever!

forever!

that is in fact worth ninety minutes of relative torture with the little electric needle of nasty hair murder. it’s especially worth it when you consider that each session is shorter than the last and by the sixth or eighth you’re down to ten minutes or so every couple of months.

and no more shaving that fucking line ever!

now i would not get rid of my actual bush, in fact i’m quite fond of it. a trait, i am told, which is quite typical of italian women and though i hate being typical it is in fact true in my case. unlike the rest of the italian nation though i do wage war on my armpits.

i would also not get rid of the hair on my armpits… and i would have left my bikini line alone except for two little things. the god dammed little red bumps that show up and itch and hurt and the fucking ingrown hairs.

god they’re icky.

i cannot wait until i never get an ingrown hair there again.

and you know what the skin outside my bikini and my panties will look like when i’m done the torture that is my allotted penance in exchange for removing hair that i personally find unsightly?

the skin everywhere else.

no scars, nothing.

i can’t wait to whip out my new bikini line when i head out for my vacation next month!

[for the record i did consider laser but i am extremely unwilling to have photosensitive skin for life AND it rarely acts permanently]

Posted in body hair, feminine hygiene, life, vaginas, war stories. 6 Comments »

mood lighting

January 18, 2008 — badinfluencegirl

recently i said no to my boyfriend when he wanted to have sex.

not because i was mad at him or because i wanted to get something from him. not to make or break any kind of point. not because i’ve suddenly decided that i have no feelings for him and not entirely because i wasn’t in the mood.

although i no longer was.

i said no because it was two o’clock in the morning and i needed to be up at 8:30; and i said no because i had been up since 5:45 that morning and now it was two am; and i said no because the mood had been broken by the heavy conversation that had broken out in the middle of sex play.

i don’t like those conversations, they’re never fun and they’re always interrupting something that *is* fun and furthermore they tend to leave you exhausted and drained.

i like even less when they happen late at night and i’m exhausted because i absolutely believe that going to bed angry is a mistake. i really and truly think that when you aren’t happy with each other it’s a terrible idea to sleep on it.

i know this because i’ve woken up after going to bed angry and found all my little grievances lines up in a row. neatly dressed and waiting like little soldiers carrying bayonets of rage and just waiting to stab away at whoever their victim might be. solidified somehow where they had been nebulous and easy to let drop away in the shadows of the night.

so there you are at one in the morning and all you want from the universe is the eight hours of sleep you might have had if you had gone to bed an hour ago and here you are embroiled in some conversation involving heaviness and hard thinking.

and then finally, mercifully, at two am or four am or dawn, it ends. it ends and you’re exhausted and your partner (who woke up many hours later than you AND can sleep for at least an hour longer in the morning) wants to have sex now.

wants to make love and re-affirm your connection to each other and feels somehow that you need to do that because it will be good for y’all.

and all you want is to let your eyes close and your brain stop spinning.

well that and a time machine so you can go somewhere and sleep for two days before returning to the now.

so the the question of how to say no in such a way that your partner knows, and not just knows, BELIEVES that you are simply saying ‘not tonight love, i’m too tired’ rather than ‘i am making you pay for the heavy discussion’ or ‘i don’t love you anymore’ or anything.

how? how not to make him wake up in the morning feeling rejected or not welcome or somehow less?

how to keep your sex life alive and thriving in the face of this kind of crap?

how not to turn into the cliched old married couple that never fucks and rarely talks?

how do you have a night like that and not turn it into a series of nights like that? a pattern of them if you will?

is the right answer to let him have his way even in the face of every fiber of your being shouting ‘no please… so tired and really… don’t want to!’ even though that feels utterly against your own needs and desires?

where, in a healthy relationship, do your desires become more or less important than your partners? at what point do you say ‘okay this is what i need but they need it more?’

how do you draw those lines and not grow them into walls?

Posted in blogging, dating, life, love, sex, sex blogging, sex drive. 8 Comments »

boing… 2

January 9, 2008 — badinfluencegirl

boing

and then, still inside me and panting on my chest he said “would you like me to go down on you?”

i gleefully assented [though not without a little pout when he slid out of me] as our bodies parted ways and he kissed his way down my body to land between my legs. i let my eyes fall closed and enjoyed the pleasure of his eager mouth on my freshly fucked pussy.

a few minutes later i offered him a toy ‘if he liked’ and was told to whip it out. so i did. it and a condom and a whole pile of my favourite lube and i handed it over.

his eyes widened. “johnny?” he asked, voice rising in surprise to see the toy i’d so recently been afraid of approaching. i nodded solemnly and he took it, took it and worked it into me and went back to having me for an appetizer.

eventually he needed to relube the toy and replaced his mouth with my finger. i started to play with myself and then he handed the giant black dildo back to me and i slid it home. he knelt between my legs to watch with admiration as it slid easily into and out of my hungry vagina.

this had a profoundly unexpected effect.

“would you like me to replace that with a cock?” he asked with a dimpled grin as he reached for a condom. surprised since he’s usually a once off sort of guy, i grinned and nodded.

he propped himself above me and i discarded the toy to one side as he slid back home. my hand fell to my side and he reached down and replaced my hand on my throbbing clitoris.

ancient rhythm took over and i let my fingers dance madly between our undulating bodies while our sweat soaked skin slid and our eyes locked.

it didn’t take long before we were shuddering and gasping and breathing into each other’s mouths as we came once more. funny that this is the only man i’ve ever been able to kiss and fuck at the same time without knocking teeth out.

i was having one of those days and as soon as he slid out of me i had johnny back for more and again my fingers dancing madly on my clit. we traded off for a while until his penis rose from the dead again at the sight of johnny sliding deeply and easily into my pussy.

“do you want me to fuck you again?”

“no thanks, i think you should come all over me while i fuck myself with this giant black dildo.”

he laughed and knelt above me once more to watch my body undulate as i came again while watching his hand work his enormous shaft. i was slapping johnny now, slapping the base as i pumped myself full and ravaged my aching and hungry clitoris.

i came again and then watched as his face took on a certain familiar look before i felt the warm spatter of his semen all over my belly.

we laughed at the destroyed bed and our messy selves and ran off to shower before our dinner engagement.

time elapsed between arrival home and shower? less than one hour.

Posted in fucking, life, masturbation, sex, sex toys, war stories. 7 Comments »

for

January 7, 2008 — badinfluencegirl

recently mr. big suggested a deal; that he purchase me a certain item of apparel and that in exchange i wear it.

being somewhat intelligent i asked him to show me the item in question first and he took me along to a site that i’ve enjoyed in the past.

i declared that i would be willing to wear the item in question so long as we weren’t within a thousand miles of home and he agreed with alacrity. we settled on this one.

it’s in the mail.

this has raised some interesting thoughts for me. i would never buy one of these for myself let alone two and even if i did i wouldn’t WEAR the freaking things in public.

and yet i’m going to.  i’m going to and i’m even excited about it.  in fact i can’t wait.

leaving aside that i’m finally going on a vacation brings me to something much more interesting.  when i feel secure with my partner i believe the things that he says.

thus, when he tells me that he is convinced that i will look incredible in one of these bikinis?

i believe him.

more than that i realize that i would rather wear this bikini for him than cover the ass i like so little.

interesting.  more interesting yet is that i’m firmly convinced that i will in fact *feel* hot in that itsy bitsy teeny weeny not so polka dot bikini.  both of them.   i will feel hot because he will be staring lustfully after me every place that i go.

i will feel so hot that i will prance and dance and show off for him.  all because i believe him.

when he tells me that i’m beautiful or hot or funny or whatever i have no doubt in my mind that this is utterly true to him.  that he is the kind of man that knocks my socks off makes it even better.  a man i think is beautiful thinks that of me.

this is powerfully heady stuff.

i understand a little bit how people can do crazy things for those confidence artists that prey on the lonely.  basking in that kind of affirmation is good for the soul, it feeds the ego and the secret stunted places and lets the occasional hidden facet emerge.

it helps that he and i are relatively sane people but nonetheless demonstrates a little why when two people get together and it doesn’t work?  oh man it’s bad, but when it works?  it gives them the power of three.

having that kind of influence around can’t help but make you want to be better and that is the only way that exists to BE better and hey that kind of positive reinforcement can’t help but be a force for good in your life.

and suddenly we go from wearing a much more revealing bikini than i would choose to positive self affirmation and healthy relationship behaviour in one fell swoop and i guess really it comes down to this.

me wearing this bikini for him will give him far more pleasure than it will give me embarrassment and thus will finish by arousing me as well and finally it will end up being something i wear for my own pleasure equally [and let's not forget that they're GORGEOUS!]

it really is amazing how arousing it is to please someone else… kind of like giving great christmas presents that give back to you threefold.

Posted in exhibitionism, exhibitionist, life, love, random, sex drive, voyeurism, war stories. 7 Comments »

boing…

January 4, 2008 — badinfluencegirl

it was a long drive. the kind of long and boring drive that sometimes gets people in trouble. the kind that would result in pulling over for a quickie if you weren’t already running a little late.

that didn’t stop him from reaching over to nibble on my neck while i drove or me from shifting slightly to allow him easier access to said neck. i squirmed in my seat but kept my eyes fixed on the road as he continued to lavish my neck and shoulder with attention.

i couldn’t help myself, i took my hand off the shift and started to play with his thickening rod through the interfering fabric of his pants. he groaned and bit more deeply into my neck.

i increased my focus on the lanes in front of me and the cars around me but left my right hand not so idly playing with his steadily growing shaft. he reached under my shirt to lavish my nipples with attention and it wasn’t long before he had my bra off, my shirt lifted and his devouring mouth on my engorged nips.

a driver smiled knowingly on his way past my car, no doubt enjoying the view of my nipple that was so obligingly shared. i felt a telltale heat between my legs, a heat growing steadily more moist as his penis grew in my hand. what is it about arousing someone else that is so damn arousing anyway?

we began telling each other what we wished we were doing. what we might do if a convenient roadside spot appeared and we weren’t already late. the things we would do some other time when family wasn’t expecting us. the ways my ten year old car might finally be christened.

his penis was sticking straight up in the air now, free and proud and surrounded by it’s little nest of clothing and there to see by any passing trucker or suv driver. he reached between my legs to feel my hot moisture through the fabric of my jeans; my dammed inconvenient and suddenly far too snug jeans.

those same jeans that i found myself unbuttoning and sliding down just enough. just enough that his eager hands could slide in to my sopping wet slit and rub and tickle and tease. i was forced to take my hand from his penis and put both hands on the wheel as focus suddenly became more difficult.

he didn’t mind, his right hand could reach his shaft easily as his left slid around in my slippery pussy. my hips started to twitch and shift and my eyes wanted to glaze over with pleasure but i fought it and fought it. what an exquisite distraction this was proving to be, hot fingers on my hotter clitoris and mouth feasting on my rock hard nipples.

i lost control of my hips.

he laughed into my skin as i slowed the car somewhat and took to the right lane, passing suddenly seeming impossible. i set myself to follow at least a half a mile back from the car ahead of me and lost myself in his ministrations. again and again my eyes wanted to close but no, i had to remain aware.

i forced my eyes onto the road as my body quivered and twitched and electric shocks ran from my centre to my toes and back. i could feel myself soaking into the seat and becoming oil slick wet as his practiced fingers kept me just on the edge but not quite falling over.

home could not arrive fast enough for either of us and that last hour both flew and dragged by.

we arrived, at last, in a mess of disarrayed clothing and a road trip’s worth of luggage and laughed at our flushed faces as we gathered an armload of stuff and headed upstairs.

laughed more as stuff was dropped in a clothing strewn trail toward the bed and our naked bodies hit the sheets. one of us fumbled for a condom as the other nibbled and sucked and so fast it was like magic he was sliding himself inside me and we were both groaning our long held off satisfaction.

it was fast and it was hard and it was glorious and we shuddered and cried out together as our bodies finally achieved some relief before we collapsed, panting, to lie naked and not spent at all on my once more sex spattered sheets.

and then… well, that’s another post.

Posted in car sex, cars, dogging, exhibitionism, fucking, life, masturbation, outdoors, public, random, sex, sex drive, toybox, voyeurism, war stories. 6 Comments »
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