recently mr. big suggested a deal; that he purchase me a certain item of apparel and that in exchange i wear it.
being somewhat intelligent i asked him to show me the item in question first and he took me along to a site that i’ve enjoyed in the past.
i declared that i would be willing to wear the item in question so long as we weren’t within a thousand miles of home and he agreed with alacrity. we settled on this one.
it’s in the mail.
this has raised some interesting thoughts for me. i would never buy one of these for myself let alone two and even if i did i wouldn’t WEAR the freaking things in public.
and yet i’m going to. i’m going to and i’m even excited about it. in fact i can’t wait.
leaving aside that i’m finally going on a vacation brings me to something much more interesting. when i feel secure with my partner i believe the things that he says.
thus, when he tells me that he is convinced that i will look incredible in one of these bikinis?
i believe him.
more than that i realize that i would rather wear this bikini for him than cover the ass i like so little.
interesting. more interesting yet is that i’m firmly convinced that i will in fact *feel* hot in that itsy bitsy teeny weeny not so polka dot bikini. both of them. i will feel hot because he will be staring lustfully after me every place that i go.
i will feel so hot that i will prance and dance and show off for him. all because i believe him.
when he tells me that i’m beautiful or hot or funny or whatever i have no doubt in my mind that this is utterly true to him. that he is the kind of man that knocks my socks off makes it even better. a man i think is beautiful thinks that of me.
this is powerfully heady stuff.
i understand a little bit how people can do crazy things for those confidence artists that prey on the lonely. basking in that kind of affirmation is good for the soul, it feeds the ego and the secret stunted places and lets the occasional hidden facet emerge.
it helps that he and i are relatively sane people but nonetheless demonstrates a little why when two people get together and it doesn’t work? oh man it’s bad, but when it works? it gives them the power of three.
having that kind of influence around can’t help but make you want to be better and that is the only way that exists to BE better and hey that kind of positive reinforcement can’t help but be a force for good in your life.
and suddenly we go from wearing a much more revealing bikini than i would choose to positive self affirmation and healthy relationship behaviour in one fell swoop and i guess really it comes down to this.
me wearing this bikini for him will give him far more pleasure than it will give me embarrassment and thus will finish by arousing me as well and finally it will end up being something i wear for my own pleasure equally [and let's not forget that they're GORGEOUS!]
it really is amazing how arousing it is to please someone else… kind of like giving great christmas presents that give back to you threefold.
