do you have ANY idea how hard it was NOT to call this post:
last stop: penetration station!
or something equally funny/cheesy? damn hard that’s how hard it was!
*clears throat* but i digress; the fine people at babeland sent me the sportsheets penetration station to review and i must confess that i was and was not immediately sold on it.
the concept is fantastic and i was so excited to try it EXCEPT that you have to take this lovely timeout to slide gear on your bed before you can do anything. effectively the penetration station is a loop that goes around your mattress that has straps that come up and down from it. two that come over the head of the mattress and two that come from below.
i found this pic on the net:
each of those straps have an attachable loop and are adjustable. the bed loop is also adjustable but does have an inherent flaw; the straps detach from the loops with clips but the bed loop is more of a buckle so you can adjust but not undo. too bad because otherwise the whole thing could just tuck under the mattress and be whipped out at will. instead you have to lift the mattress and slide it on every time. [the packaging suggests that you can leave it on the bed but that would irritate me to no end.]
truly i don’t get that because why do the loops clip on if the whole thing doesn’t clip together? tragic really, it’s the only flaw in an otherwise perfect toy.
i didn’t love it the first time we tried it although i enjoyed it. we played missionary style and i ended up using it mostly as a bondage toy. in other words, i stuck my thighs in one set of loops and grabbed the other ones in my hands and sort of trapped myself with them. since i love being tied up i enjoyed the limited feeling but i don’t believe i adjusted the thing that well and mostly i just found it annoying and not that helpful. i’m pretty sure that with a little more patience i could have the thing set up to be a lot more helpful.
and then.
and then i tried it doggie style. can i just say that i have never been more grateful for my ‘if you don’t love it try it twice’ rule?
oh my GOD! that thing is made for doggie style. i rested on my elbows with two pillows under my chest (good trick if you’re shoulder challenged fyi) and stuck the straps around my upper arms (like the ones she has in her hands) and he grabbed the over the head of the bed ones in his hands and off we went and wow.
did i mention wow?
he set a new record for number of times he came in one session and i was having so much more fun than usual. i love doggie style except for the part where my face gets mashed into the bed and i get fucked into the wall and then sort of bend as i try not to give myself a concussion whilst fucking.
this problem is COMPLETELY solved by the penetration station. completely. he gets something solid to pull on and she gets something solid to brace on and suddenly you can fuck without carpet burn! it’s fantastic and easy and doubles or triples your staying power and still i haven’t done it justice.
for that alone the penetration station would go in my toybox of fame forever but i like it more because the whole thing fits into a medium sized purse and the packaging is minimal. the straps are canvas and the clips are plastic for easy cleaning and the loops are super comfy neoprene that can be wiped down. [not that this is the kind of toy one gets particularly messy but still.]
even better? it comes with a SUPER cheesy DVD you can use for suggestions of use and to find other great sportsheets products. i’m eyeing up the velcro sheets already…
other than that one missing clip? this toy is about perfect.
nine out of ten plus the badinfluencegirl seal of approval.
***
anyone want to design the seal for me?
