let’s do the limbo rock

September 25, 2008 — badinfluencegirl

so the breaking up thing is over but the healing and recovering is not.

i have, as previously mentioned, never broken up in such a friendly manner so my experience of this and the resulting emotional response is nil.  actually that isn’t entirely true, my ex tr and i split friendly but we were stuck living together for basically a month and things just went from bad to worse.

here we split up and did NOT see each other which has made the healing process significantly more… well, healing.

it’s interesting because i miss him but i don’t miss him enough.  in fact the missing is quietly fading into the background without my really noticing.  i suspect that it helps that we took a break for a month before meeting to decide what to do.

i suspect further that the fact that we were BOTH ready to end things makes it uch easier because neither of us needs to recover from the ache of hurting someone you love.  and let’s be clear, we did love each other and still do but not the way you need to to make it work long term.

it was too easy to take a break, too easy to split up, too easy to heal.  i don’t mean that these things WERE easy only that they weren’t hard *enough* after all was said and done.

i’ve gone on a date since then… but he was a schmuck.

then this week i stopped in at one of my favourite lunch joints and stepped up to the bar and the gentleman sitting there with money on his bill promptly ordered another cappuccino.  much chatting ensued and we now have a date to meet for lunch next week.

this is a milestone for two reasons, not the least of which is that i FINALLY got asked out after a five year drought.  seriously, in five years not one man asked me out that i didn’t somehow approach first.  feels good.

furthermore this is a nice man and i look forward to knowing him better whether we end up friends or dating.  this is NICE.

what’s weird is this strange feeling of impending dating.  i seem to have come into my personal power such that people are interested in me now and so even if this guy doesn’t work out i feel like someone else will come along pretty quickly.

this requires some odd thinking for me because although i didn’t know if mr. big and i would stay together forever like i certainly felt that we would be together for several years.  it NEVER occured to me that i might have sex or become intimate with someone else anytime soon.

there was the possibility that after a few years we might have opened our relationship but still he was to have been my ‘main man’ so to speak.

now i have to think about this journey of discovery with someone else.

someone new and unexpected and different.

i have to let go of what i knew and what i expected and find a new path…

and it feels damn strange.  not wrong… exactly.  but strange for certain.

it’s probably akin to the feeling of letting a new cat into your life after the previous one dies.  you’re used to your old cat and it’s habits and needs and this new cat, while still a cat, doesn’t quite act like you might expect.

it doesn’t like your old cats favourite treats or toys and in fact isn’t that fond of this kind of food either. not to mention that it does NOT like it’s tummy rubbed but loves being picked up.  it’s like a little record scratch in your brain that just keeps happening.

of course, after a while your new pussy gets used to your ways and you get used to the way it likes to be scratched and all things sort themselves out.

but it’s still weird for a while.

Posted in life, love, random, sex, uncoupling. 3 Comments »

review: nexus glide

September 20, 2008 — badinfluencegirl

as i am most assuredly NOT a man i had mr. big review this toy.  these arrangements were in place before he and i split up but since we split friendly i might get him to do another one even still… really i leave it up to the fine folks at babeland.

so without further ado, mr. big:

Hello again!  It’s been a while since I’ve played with my bum, but you guys were all such good listeners and it looked like such an intriguing toy, I figured it was time again. :D

Perhaps more to the point, I had been feeling like my masturbating was missing something, and just when I was starting to fantasize more and more about being penetrated by someone else, badinfluencegirl told me that the Nexus Glide had finally come in the mail.

First impressions:

The Nexus Glide package seems pretty nonchalant.  It mentions that it uses ‘medical grade plastic’, that there is a ‘patent pending*’ and that it’s ‘made in the U.K.’  If you ever wanted to sample toys from off the continent, this one may be for you.

Apparently, it also “Gives Extreme Pleasure Producing Stronger and more Powerful Orgasms.”  More on this later.

*It makes me wonder what it’s like to apply for a patent for a sextoy…How do you word the claims?  What is the lawyeresque word for ‘More Powerful Orgasm?’

Apparently it also contains no Phthalates, for those of you for whom this is important.[which should be EVERYBODY - big]

Opening the package, it opens easily, a welcome change from the current ridiculosity of consumer electronics packaging.

The Nexus is 6″ (4-1/2″ insertable) x 1-1/8″, and comes with a detachable metal ball bearing and two plastic devices to remove the metal ball for cleaning.  For those of you who are familiar with the aneros prostate stimulator, the Nexus is similarly shaped, but larger.

Also, the Nexus is made of hard plastic, which I was unsure of, but like a fully erect penis, instead of a semi-, the insertion went much easier.

So, I washed the Nexus, using the tool to pop out the metal ball bearing (supposed to run up and down the perineum as you move the dildo around), wash it with my olive oil** soap, rinse, and put it back together.

**Good enough for the Greeks and Romans, good enough for me! :D

So, I sat down in front of my computer, with some of my favourite ‘stuff’ up on the screen, and lubed up the top of the Nexus.  I run it around my anus and inside a bit to spread the lube around.  Like inserting anything in my bum, the first part is really easy, then I need to pull it out for more lube.  After dripping more lube all over the head and some of the shaft, I put it up to my ass and zoop! it goes all the way in up to the next insertion point where you need to turn your anal toys 180 degrees.  I do the 180 degree turn, and it goes all the way.  Never have I had an anal toy which went in so easily and was a size where I noticed it.  Ahhh…

I’m definetely feeling it…Reading about prostate-specific stimulation, I’ve heard that it’s (pleasurably) a little like feeling you have to pee…It was like that a bit, but a little more on the pleasurable side. :D

It definitely helped with the more powerful orgasm…Just the thing to spice it up when you feel a little blase, or you feel like a little more/different stimulation is what you need…

Also, normally, after my first orgasm (3 is typical, I set my record of 10 with badinfluencegirl earlier this year), my bum will push out whatever toy is in there, probably with the clenching…My small-medium sized butt plug is generally pushed out, and other hard anal toys (like the njoy) were too much to have inside me during the (pleasurable) clenching and toe curling…But this wonderful one stayed in, and was just the right hardness and shape to keep being fun.

All in all, a 8.5/10.  Easy insertion, fun usage, and the hard plastic makes insertion and cleaning easy.  I never did really understand the point of the perineum stimulator, maybe it was too subtle, and I didn’t notice except as part of the larger whole. Also, I like sitting on my anal toys, and it has an annoying downwards protrusion, I’m not really sure why?  Maybe a handle to use to move it around?

Up there with the best anal toy I’ve used, the (probably now discontinued) Hustler diva strapon, and a good value for $44.

I feel like using it again now.  :D

Signing off,

Mr. Big.

Posted in boy on boy, masturbation, sex, sex toys, toy review. 2 Comments »

blink

September 15, 2008 — badinfluencegirl

i don’t even know that you’re here until you’re leaning over me and my arms are reaching to surround your neck; you keep bending your magnificent body until your hands slide beneath my buttocks.  again by instinct my legs lift to surround your waist and i feel a thrill course through me at your strength as i can’t even blink before you stand up with my weight dangling from your waist and neck.

our lips meet inevitably and our bodies begin to heat as you walk me to the window ledge and press me against the window.  i sigh deep in my throat as i feel your hardness against my growing wetness and i marvel once again at how perfectly built this window is, it’s as though they measured your legs to pick its height.

temperatures seem to soar as your hands roam my back and buttocks and my legs flex around you to pull you ever closer to me.  i feel my ass clenching under your hands as my pelvis strains closer to yours and i sigh into your avid mouth.

i pull away just a little and start ripping buttons off your shirt until your torso is satisfyinly naked and then begin nibbling and licking along your shoulder and neck.  you groan and your head falls back even as you fumble at my shirt and work to yank it over my head.

i help.

a sigh escapes me as our skin slides together and my nipples crinkle as they feel the gentle tickle of your chest hair.  a light sheen coats your back now and our hands and mouths become more feverish.

i wrestle with buttons and groan my satisfaction as i finally manage the catch of your jeans.  i am pushing them down as fast as possible before my hands dive into your shorts and stroke your silky length.  your answering shudder has me panting and i feel your hands slide beneath my skirt and into my panties before i too am trembling.

you growl into my mouth as you feel my soaking wet lips ready and waiting for you and your fingers dance on my clitoris and into my aching pussy as i moan and bathe your nipples with my tongue.  my hands free your manhood from your boxers and i stroke you anew as your soft hardness emerges into the light of day.

i am feverish now, shuddering into your fingers and stroking your cock as my heels begin pulling your hips toward me.  you laugh and slide my panties out of the way and i mewl as your tip just brushes my eager entrance.

i push toward you but you resist, hands on my bottom again and refusing to let me pull you all the way inside me but just teasing me with your probing cock.

it is fully erect now and i can see the gleam of escaping droplets of pre-cum as our centers yearn toward each other.  our mouths meet again and breath drops low into our chests as you slide your gleaming shaft up and down my now sopping pussy lips.

finally, finally you touch my entrance and just hang there for what feels like an eternity as our tongues dance the dance our bodies will soon imitate.

at last you thrust once and your entire penis fills me and i scream into your mouth as my body erupts into spasms and tremblings and you wait there; you wait until i am almost crying and have effectively lost control of my bucking body before you start to move and pull yourself almost all the way out before slamming yourself home once more.

i scream again as you start to fuck me, hard and fast and deep and with each thrust your pubic hair tickles my swollen button and your magnificent head rubs my g spot and i feel little spurts come from deep inside to coat your already soaking cock with even more of my natural lubrication.

our mouths meet and fall away from each other again and again as our bodies strain and writhe on each other and the glass of the window cools my overheated back.  our slick skin slides together as you dig your giant hands into my buttocks and squeeze me against you as i cry out and soak the ledge beneath me with my juices.

at last i feel the trembling at the base of your penis and the shuddering of your butt beneath my heels before you erupt into me with a great shout and i, i scream once more before your uncontrolled shudders drive me to fall from a great height and i feel my body release around you as the walls of my vagina shake and shudder and grip your penis even as you shoot and shoot and shoot again until i collapse against the window with your sweat slicked body against mine and your penis still sitting inside me.

Posted in exhibitionism, fantasy, fucking, sex, sex fantasy. 7 Comments »

review: waterproof power-g by california exotic

September 9, 2008 — badinfluencegirl

i’d never tried a plastic toy before so i was very curious when babeland sent me a waterproof dildo by california exotic. i liked the shape and the idea of the ridges and the waterproof nature of the toy and it’s stiff unyielding texture.

when it arrived i was impressed with the brevity of the packaging but underwhelmed by it’s need for c batteries.  i don’t have those in my rechargeable collection and i dislike using disposable anything if i can avoid it. still i guess i could have used it as a reason to get some rechargeable C batteries.  will do if i get another toy with a similar issue.

so, the power-g is waterproof with an easy twisting base which allows you to control the level of thumpy vibrations which course through the toy.  and i really do mean thumpy.  there’s a gyration in the vibrations which is really quite delightful.  even better?  the base is contoured such that slippy lubricated hands can still work the controls.

i played with it at all settings but found it almost too much when i was close to coming so i had to actually dial it back.  the ridges are fun for running along your clit and the oddly shaped head allows you to play with the angle and pressure of sensation.

the flat top is like a thick and gyrating tongue while the tip is like a firm finger and the nice curve below the tip nestles nicely against a woman’s parts.

it is insertable but i didn’t find it that comfortable inside.  it fits, it enters easily and it slides in up to a certain point after which you can’t really push any more.  well i can’t; my personal shape doesn’t let me get the toy in as far as the ridges.

even still it feels damn fine when dialed up to it’s full speed and left inside.

it feels finer still at variable speeds on your outsides.  best of all is to take a dildo and fuck it while the toy vibrates you from the outside.  mmm delicious and throbbing orgasms!

as i have mentioned in the past, i judge toys differently based on their price.  in fact, if this were a two hundred dollar toy i would counsel AGAINST it but it isn’t.  it’s a TWENTY TWO dollar toy and as such i recommend it to anyone who needs a simple, reliable, easily adgusted vibrator that also happens to have multiple surfaces for you to play with.

in fact i would also recommend it to anyone who needs an easy cleaning vibe for travelling because it’s hardly loud enough to register outside a closed door if you turn it ALL the way up and otherwise it’s quiet enough to be non-disturbing to most anyone.  note that if you crank it up and it isn’t touching anything that it makes a loud racket but that if it is touching something the noise is significantly muted.

i give this toy a solid four out of five stars, it loses points because i can’t get it all the way inside me and for using C batteries but gains a point for being waterproof, minimally packaged and yummy.

in fact i give it the badinfluencegirl seal of approval.

Posted in masturbation, random, reviews, sex, sex toys, toy review. 1 Comment »

not so limbo

September 3, 2008 — badinfluencegirl

so it’s official, mr. big and i have decided to split up.

my reaction perplexes me actually.  part of me is relieved because the decision is made and yet there is a strange and lurching feeling just under my diaphragm that makes me wonder if i’ve actually felt any of it yet at all.

i can’t really wrap my head around the idea that he isn’t mine anymore.  that he’s allowed (nay encouraged!) to run off and sleep with other people and date and just generally enjoy himself and sow some wild oats; that he isn’t coming over tonight to meow into my entry buzzer system.

i have this clutching in my abdomen and this feeling that i can’t really explain.  the best word might be bereft.

i guess this is the mourning part or something; it seems that those are required after all.  it’s just that i’ve never done this before.

i’ve never broken up with someone without anger or recrimination.  with hugs and promises of lifelong friendship.  there has always been anger or acrimony or enormous relief that the torture was over, but not here, not this time.

mostly i’m sad and a little stunned.  i never thought we would get here, not us, not two such awesome people.

we came to the conclusion that we could beat each other into something that worked for us or we could release each other to go find our own paths and continue being our awesome selves.  i will wonder for a while if that was a foolish decision.

if maybe we just didn’t try hard enough to figure out how to live together.  if we let too many things fall under the rug.  if it’s crazy to let someone awesome go because you aren’t quite so awesome together as you are apart.

i’m pretty sure we’re doing the right thing, in fact we agreed that we weren’t sad enough.  if we loved each other the way you must to survive in this world together we should have felt awful at the idea of not being with each other anymore.

instead we were bittersweet and admitted to each other that we hated the idea that the other would now date someone else.  that we were jealous of each other and not quite ready to share us; that he wasn’t allowed to fuck some other chick.

which led to us deciding that breakup sex would just confuse things.

i am bemused.

i have a split personality.

pieces of me are so stoked at the idea of getting to go out there and see what’s available. and then i remember where i am and how i go over in this town and that seems pointless.

pieces of me cannot conceive of the idea that i don’t belong to him anymore.

just cannot.

and yet i remain unconvinced that i am sad enough to change the outcome.  and even if i were to realize, at some future crossroads, that i had made a most terrible mistake?  i don’t really believe that he will ever feel that way.

in fact i suspect that he will recover faster than i and i *know* that he will be dating first.  girls love those big blue eyes of his and that ready smile.  not to mention that his posture is dramatically better since i started teaching him pilates so he’s gotten hotter.

i think he will date more than one woman before anyone even makes eyes at me.  such is the life of a woman my age in this town.

ah well.

i don’t really know how to cope with this eerie calmness and parting with such affection.  it seems all my coping strategies are tied in to that anger/rage thing i’m used to from before.

breaking up isn’t supposed to have hugging and sadness and dating advice and checking in the next day to make sure you’re both okay.

is it?

Posted in dating, life, love, uncoupling. 12 Comments »
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