occasionally a toy shows up at my doorstep (thanks babeland!) that i have a really hard time reviewing. sometimes it’s the fault of the toy and sometimes it’s mine and sometimes life just gets in the way.
the naughtinano by OhMiBod got burned all three of these ways and not all of them were its fault. first and most frustrating? while it was in the mail my damn ipod blew up and started to make really odd and unhopeful clunking noises.
total deadness and all digital music lost.
cue to TWO MONTHS later when i have finally got music on my shuffle. yeah seriously the shuffle saga was lame. then? right about then? my friend dies… not so into the reviewing you know?
so a little information, this toy is set up to be hooked up to any sound system that has a compatible jack to your ipod (so not my old stereo of course) OR to be used as a traditional vibe. it’s freaking ingenious because all you have to do is change out the ends.
while trying to find a way to use this thing with no ipod i tried the naughtinano with the vibrator end rather than the music attachment end and what a lovely vibe it is. there are seven settings: vibe, vibe faster, vibe super fast, pulse, pulse pulse *pulse* PULSE, slow grow pulse pulse fast grow pulse pulse, and long slow grow pulse pulse long slow decline pulse pulse.
these settings are awesome and got me off a lot faster than i had expected. in fact? at that point this toy was a ten out of ten. nice materials, great vibration patterns and super easy useability. (two buttons on the bottom – triangle for on/change setting and circle for off.)
cleaned toy, put away and waited for an ipod. thought i had an ipod, changed the ends and stuck in the batteries. oops no ipod. cut to three weeks later and the batteries are TOTALLY DEAD! now i might not care except this thing takes NON RECHARGEABLE batteries in that weird N style that’s the width of a AAA but half as high. they take nearly the identical space to two triple A batteries but they’re special and you have to find a store that carries them and the instructions specifically state “do not use rechargeable batteries.”
this ticks me off like i can’t even tell you. i’m doing my best for the environment and so is everybody else i know and some company is making a toy that specifically cannot be used with rechargeable batteries? (notwithstanding how hard it is to find these batteries ARE available in a chargeable version.) furthermore, i know that i should NOT have left the batteries in the toy but COME ON! single use batteries???
*clears throat*
moving on, i finally have a working source of music and i’m totally excited to try the toy with it so i plug it in and hook up my ipod and press play and start to play. i think the naughtinano is actually set up to play to intensity of music as much as rhythm because i really found that the busy techno styles didn’t work nearly as well as the less busy but very rhythmic pop stuff. justin timberlake and old 70′s pop were the all around winners of the ‘what makes my ipod naughti’ contest.
anyway i probably started somewhere around 60% volume (manual recommends 75%) and i found that the vibrations were pleasing but weren’t enough to get me off. as i turned up the music the vibrations did get more intense and i played myself into a VERY nice series of orgasms. the funniest part is that as a song ends there is a small pause and suddenly you’re gasping and wet and just *waiting* for more.
awesome actually, kind of like the best tease from a good lover in that you cannot predict what it’s going to do next. also amazing is having earphones in your ears and feeling the music in your body and your heart as you play with yourself. what didn’t work as well for me was when i wanted *more* power in my vibrator. after a while i couldn’t handle making the music any louder and yet i would have loved a higher level of vibration. while the ‘turn up the volume to turn up the vibe’ idea is genius? it’s also very frustrating if you have sensitive ears.
i really didn’t want to drop the earphones and i definitely didn’t want to plug in some speakers because a big part of the sensory experience is that the music envelops you. also i was about to come and frankly didn’t want to stop you know?
a better move would have been an intensity control on the cable or some other way to ‘choose volume’ and ‘choose intensity’ in a separate way.
so, this vibe with it’s velvety finished easy cleaning plastic and ingenious sound connection that started out as a ten out of ten? ends up somewhere around a seven or an eight. minus one for the lame battery choice and minus one for eating my batteries when i forgot them in my toy for LESS THAN A MONTH and minus one for not respecting the environment and minus one for making me deaf if i want to come. plus one for awesome vibration patterns in it’s vibrator end and plus one for making me moan like aretha TO aretha which leaves us at an eight out of ten.
the $70 price tag is reasonable for a well made toy that comes with a cute little carrying pouch and truly i would recommend it to anyone for whom music and sex are intrinsically linked but, well? i’m not as amazed as everyone else.
