review: pleasure top vibrator

February 18, 2009 — badinfluencegirl

when babeland send me the pleasure top vibrator by doc johnson i was quite excited; until i tried to get it to work.  this was clearly an issue that was not unique to myself as babeland has discontinued sales of this cheap replacement for the cone.

i am going to review it anyway but would strongly recommend that you explore other variations on this theme before purchase.  i have linked the vibe at the homepage of the manufacturer simply so you can see it.

at first glance the pleasure top is a simple, easy to use and effective way to get yourself off.  it has a flat base and a little thumblike nub sticking up from the middle of the cone and you can either sit on it or hold it against you while lying down.

unfortunately it took me something like TWENTY tries to put the lid on in such a way that the vibe even worked.  i could never do it all the way up and still get function and i tried and tried and tried believe you me.  even so, i soldiered on.

see what i do for y’all?

okay here’s the thing.  when it works?  it’s freaking awesome.  you can sit as deeply as you like and the deeper you sit the more it throbs inside you.  sadly, the base twists to change the intensity of the vibration and the more you writhe the more likely you are to TURN IT OFF!

worse?  since you can’t turn the lid all the way shut you can also detach the battery contacts from the batteries and then you have to drag yourself off the thing and fuck around with it until you get it working again!!

you have no idea how frustrating this can get!

it wouldn’t be nearly as irksome if it didn’t work so well when it did work!  sitting on this thing and undulating my clit along that little thumb was for sure one of the most pleasureable sensations that i’ve had this year!  i was pretty much instantly drenched and happy and rounding the last turn in to the home stretch in a kentucky derby winning time okay?

i mean i was liking it a lot.

if the engineering were better i would have given this thing a nine out of ten, minus one for the thumb not being a little lower.  that said, i would strongly advise not buying it as the irritation factor is far too high.

i mean babeland discontinued it!

i think i’m going to have to give this a two with honourable mention for the thumb part.  that is one fantastic shape for a vibrating tip!  it’s funny, i’ve never given such a bad score to a vibe i liked so much; in fact i dearly hope that doc johnson re-engineers the battery issue and rereleases the toy.  i’ll get in line that’s for sure!

now can i mention the cone again?  it gets reviews that gush from both men and women so maybe go check that out instead?!?

Posted in reviews, sex, sex toys, toy review. 5 Comments »

game… set?

February 14, 2009 — badinfluencegirl

i got played you guys.

i got played so well i’m not ever sure the player knows it; though he might.

i got played and i don’t ever care, in fact i’m kind of impressed.  sitting back and applauding and enjoying the ride even.

there’s this man you see, he’s kind of like that political candidate that’s totally tanking the leadership race until he splits the vote on the top two and just kinda sails up the middle.

this guy used to be a client and he walked into my studio all brash and loud and just made me like him.  i can’t really explain it at all because in many ways he is not what i would call my type.

but i just liked him you know?

so after our sessions if we weren’t busy we would get coffee or breakfast and hang out.  truly i didn’t think anything of it.  i mean i knew that he thought i was hot but i didn’t really care.  just told him i didn’t date clients and moved on.

so he kind of disappeared and reappeared.  he would show up and tell me i should be going out with him and kind of shake his head at whatever i was doing and somehow after all of these meetings i would have a smile on my face.

but then he would disappear you know?  for a few months or a year or whatever.  i wouldn’t be surprised if he had girlfriends in the disappear times but i really don’t know or care.

i was otherwise engaged a lot.  there was the unrequited love and the sex buddy and then the year long serious thing and somehow through all of that there was this guy telling me he suited me and making me laugh.

and i totally evolved about him through that time in a gradual and imperceptible way;  first he was a client and way older and totally broken and no!

and then he was an ex client and older and then he was a guy and then he was a guy that made me cock my head and wonder and then i was genuinely curious … you know?

so anyway, last time he did that he didn’t call me back.  mostly because i was talking about this banker i’d had a couple of dates with and then a couple of weeks later i met mr. big and you all know what happened there.

this time when he called me i told him off for disappearing and then when he did his little “you and me is good” thing i yelled at him.  it helps that i was drunk.

anyway i told him off for always doing that and never following up and told him that i saw no reason whatsoever to take him seriously. so he hemmed and hawed something about how i gave him no reason to and i was like oh no.  oh no buddy, you don’t come back so i am NOT taking you seriously.

and then i called him the next day and bitched him out for the hangover.

he’s the kind of man where the bartender asks HIM if *I* want another beer!  seriously i was SO hungover it was amateurish!

anyway so yeah we had dinner on a few days later and have a date tomorrow.

and i’m stoked.

and finding excuses to call him.

and talking about him to my friends.

and being giggly if i find email in my inbox…

and i am at the same time utterly bemused.

i mean really now, how did this happen?  this was a man that was never in the running.  i liked him… i couldn’t explain why i just did.  i liked him and i always said yes when he wanted to hang out.

but i never really thought for a second that i would date him.

and dudes?

i’m excited.  enough that i almost don’t want to publish this.  i mean he has *manners* even.

Posted in dating, life. 6 Comments »

head shakings

February 4, 2009 — badinfluencegirl

there is this man

he is polite and soft spoken and has the most incredibly beautiful eyes

but he’s a client.

*

there is this man

he is funny and charming and thoughtful as hell

but he’s married.

*

there is always a man but these two in some ways are feeding my desire for each other.  they have such swaths of commonalities that i cannot even distract myself from one with the other.

and i like them both, in different but equally problematic ways.

i’ll be thinking about one and the other will pop in to my head and then there’s this back and forth.  the client is winning, at this moment exactly, if you’re wondering.

but the married guy?

he’s so fucking hot to me that i’m not ever sure i would say no if he wanted to set me up as his mistress.  i’m not even sure i would care if he had more than one mistress. he’s the kind of man who listens to you talk and draws conclusions and presents them to you.  who catches the things you don’t say and feeds you the answers on a golden platter.

the kind of man who knows you after he’s spent an hour with you… and yet is still fascinated to learn more.

and the client?

he’s …

oh crap i’m having trouble finding words.  he’s sweet i think.  in that way where you don’t take people’s crap but you don’t dish any out either.  sweet in the respects his parents and doesn’t talk trash about anyone way that i find outrageously sexy.

but not for a second can you think this is anything but a grown man living an adult life.  i can’t comprehend how he’s available, in fact i’m not even sure that he *is* and in some ways i hope that he will mention a wife or a boyfriend or something but i hope maybe more that he won’t.

i dread losing a client this good you understand but i have these visions…

they’re dirty but not in a nasty way if that makes any sense.  i am absolutely horny for him but i’m not particularly having specific fantasies.

i don’t so much fantasize that way about the married guy… which is funny because i know in every atom of my being that the sex would be spectacular… and in some ways he would be perfect for me.

he’s the exact kind of man that i like and he’s only available part of the time… which suits my solitary ways just perfectly.  the only questions is this: could i live with myself if i became a mistress.

worse, could i live with myself if i became a kept woman?

not, you understand, that either of these men are offering BUT i’ve always considered it safest to figure out what you’re going to do before opportunity knocks.  one tends to make saner choices.

i think, in the short term, that i could totally live with myself. but i think it would kill me in the long term.  i think the light in my eyes would probably die.

and i’m still tempted.

yeah, *shaking head* he’s that hot.

and i’ve never been that girl.  never been the one that chases other people’s men.  never said yes to a man who had a woman; except twice and once i was nineteen and drunk and the other i had NO IDEA he had an old lady… and was mortified to find out.

at least the second one wasn’t my fault.

never been that girl, actively find myself wanting to be now…

and then there’s the client, the utterly distracting man of substance who may or may not be married… or gay but i don’t think so.

i mean seriously, he’s made me blush at least twice and i’ve only seen him a few times.  this is not good and bodes very badly for my professionalism you know?

what’s funny about these men is that i don’t know them well and yet they both seem to effortlessly fit a list i didn’t even know i had… right down to the part where for once i’m not the rich half of a couple.

and no, i don’t like either of them for their money… but i do like the character traits that cause them to be the kind of men who have money… because i’m sick and tired of being the rich half since i’m FREAKING POOR!

ahh men of substance, so few and far between that women like me are willing to do ridiculous things just to get their attention…

“down girl!”

Posted in random. 5 Comments »

review: ophoria bliss no 12

February 2, 2009 — badinfluencegirl

ahh babeland, purveyors of find sex things, how i thank thee for allowing me to test toys for you.

this week brought me the ophoria bliss no 12 which is a beautiful, soft, one hundred percent silicone vibrator that sports five different vibration patterns.

this is not a complex toy; there are not several hundred different vibration patterns nor are there multiple switches or even strange curves. what it is is a simple machine that performs it’s chosen task well and with hidden benefits.

the shaft is insertable to about seven inches and tapers from a softly rounded tip to a thicker base.  the base removes for battery insertion and the power switch hides down there as well.

there are two ripple patterns dividing the sides into thirds, three smooth stripes outlining the cutout areas that are more strongly grooved.  this combines magically well with the vibration patterns to allow stimulation with either the tip or the side of the shaft.

not really a big deal until you get that the vibrations get stronger toward the tip.  this means you can point the tip to your entrance and leave the quieter pulsations on your clit and then ride the lovely ripples to your heart’s content.

that the vibration patterns are just strong enough to keep you building without being so strong as to fire you over the edge post haste?  makes the old undulating against your throbbing shaft trick to be particularly pleasurable.

i plain old liked this toy; there isn’t a lot to say about it beyond that really.  it’s made of great stuff, the patterns and intensity work, it’s nice and quiet and washable with soap and water.

it’s not waterproof but you know?  i don’t take my toys in the shower that often anyway.

the tip feels good on nipple and clit, the sides are good anywhere and the shaft shoves in as far as you want it but not quite far enough.  this is in fact the one place where it loses a little.  the utter lack of curve.

i can’t quite get it to sit on my g-spot no matter how i writhe.  do i care?  not really because i’m so busy coming from the undulating on the shaft but still, i want things to hit my g-spot if i stick them inside me.

and if they don’t?  i want to be able to fuck them so deep that i’m worried i’ll bruise my uterus.  and i can’t quite… though perhaps if i had gotten a little more lubed up or het up i might have been able to stretch for it, johnny [dildo by vixen] is bigger after all.

don’t think so though, it’s just too straight.

so i think i’ll give this toy an eight for all around awesomeness plus point five for not making the vibrations way too intense and it doesn’t make it to nine because of the total straightness of the shaft.

that said, if i were ranking it against other straight toys?  i’d give it a nine.

and still?

i just like it.

Posted in masturbation, reviews, sex, sex toys, toy review. Leave a Comment »
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