or
things you forget about sex when you haven’t had any in a while…
*
that it hurts – so good
that delicious feeling when you pee and your vagina feels all well used and achy but somehow satisfied nonetheless
how much work it actually is
how much fun it actually is
how hard it is to pee directly after sex – stupid uti prevention
how satisfying that deliciously full feeling can actually be
condoms suck – female condoms suck less
how tired your muscles get
the requirement that one has actual fitness or at least a little cardio
how exhausting it is
how relaxing it is
how unimportant orgasms really are
that you really do forget how it feels even if you think you remember
that there is a difference between having sex and making love… but that you can in fact fuck and make love at the same time
that one person’s kink is another person’s vanilla
that sex is inherently hysterically funny
that my poor inner thighs complain more than anything else. clearly i must needs work my adductors
pheremones!
how high you get if the sex is actually fun
how much better a real partner is than a sex toy
how much better a sex toy is WITH a partner
how much better a sex toy is than no sex at all (or solo sex with only your hand as a partner ALL.THE.TIME)
the wonderful smells
how messy it is
how out of practice the parts get. kind of like a rusty engine
how much fun it is
how much fun the not sex parts are – you know like waking up in the morning and someone else is there
that sometimes not having sex is better than having it – and other times? not so much.
that it’s easier to not be getting any when it’s been a year than when it’s been one day – jones!
that it’s ridiculously fun
showers are awesome but shared showers are better
that no matter how sore your bits are? more will sound like a good idea
that you will have inexplicable bruises
and muscle aches
and silly smiles
that it is inherently undignified
that chemistry is about more than just pheremones
that every single thing that you think every person likes will turn out to be a squick for someone
how different partners are one from the other… and how many assumptions we make about them
what it feels like.
