review: womolia by emotional bliss

July 20, 2009 — badinfluencegirl

the lovely ladies from emotional bliss contacted me and asked me if i wanted to try one of their new heat line; specifically the womolia.  i’ve been slowly moving to fewer toy reviews because i couldn’t keep up and because really, how many vibrators does one girl need?

one more.

i basically feel that my review is done right there, but i’ll yammer for a bit anyway.

womolia is made from plastic and medical grade silicone and is rechargeable (+1 for good to the environment!) but that isn’t the super cool thing; they put this coating on it made of silver ions that’s antibacterial!

so you run your toy under the tap and maybe use some mild soap to get any gunk off and the act of getting it wet activates the silver ions somehow and basically the top layer of molecules dissolve leaving a fresh new coat underneath.

your toy stays clean!

i don’t think it means a zillion people should use the same one without protection though okay?  that’s just icky.

furthermore even though womolia has silicone parts?  you can use silicone lube with it!  i love this because it’s really the only kind of lube i like.  (am allergic to aloe which is in most water based lubes and have not tried doctor recommended mineral oil yet.)

womolia has a lovely long handle that makes it easy to deal with the controls even when you’re all worked up; furthermore the controls cycle around rather than stopping at the bottom or the top of the range which allows a little more variety.  it has nine settings: slow vibe, medium vibe, hi vibe, gentle pulse, stronger pulse, strongest pulse, slow rise, slow rise and drop, short short long long.

i am randy just from going through the settings!

that said, i think if the power button cycled through the patterns and the plus/minus buttons changed the intensity the vibe would get even nicer.  as it is several of the patterns come in only one intensity and sometimes you need it whisper light and sometimes you want to get vibrated off the bed right?

womolia shows up and demands to be charged for twelve hours.  someone (aka me) misread the led light and decided it had showed up charged and so i dutifully turned it on high and tossed it on the bed to ‘warm up.’ [instructions suggest waiting ten to fifteen minutes for it to heat up - worth every second.]

it turns out that listening to a vibrator and knowing you’re about to use it is pretty arousing in and of itself.  who knew?

so i hopped on my bed and i covered my vagina with a few layers of cloth (because it seemed to be a very strong vibe) started to flirt with my nipples and i was not that impressed, they didn’t feel womolia that much.  ah well, have to use my nails for those… [further testing has taught me to just brush the nipple with the vibe rather than press down and voila! happily aroused nipples!]

off i headed down my treasure trail with my trusty new vibe in tow.

and i started to play, and i started to play, and i started to play.

i pressed the nub that heats up into my entrance and let the control pad rest on belly just above my pubic bone.  did they mean to let me stimulate my g-spot from the outside?  are their designers really THAT good?  is that possible?  if you do it exactly right you can set womolia so that the hot tip is against your entrance and the hard shaft is cradled in your channel and nestled against your clit and resting against your pubic bone.  can you say whole genital vibration?  would you want to?

okay i was going to finish this tonight but i have to go play with the vibrator i’m reviewing.  i uh, can’t remember exactly how it feels when i uh… yeah… bye!

the first night that i used womolia i was slow to warm up and i played with myself over a folded up pillowcase before getting skin to skin.  i went slowly like a new lover is wont to do and then i started to feel the heat.  there’s this little nub that gets hot the way a tongue pressed against you and left there can feel.

and then it keeps heating up (never to pain and i used it for like forty five minutes after a fifteen minute warm up so i think an hour is enough to know.)

anyway eventually i pressed womolia to my clit on it’s lowest vibration setting and started to really get into it and very quickly i hit my plateau and i rode the wave until my brain couldn’t work anymore and my abs were killing me.  i don’t know the difference between multiple orgasms and plateaux as a textbook would put it but i do know the difference between the buildup and the payoff.

i surfed the womolia wave for forty five minutes and a puddle more than a foot square on my bed.

the second time [after the agonizing many hour wait for it to charge due to misread led - fail] i tried it was also a forty five minute ab murdering, puddle causing, deep throat groaning, hip shuddering, toe curling, full body ride and the third was a mere quickie at twenty five.

do you want one yet?

i want the whole line.

i can’t give womolia eleven because the little plug for the battery charger doesn’t have a built in cover.  but i can sure give it a ten for the heat (so awesome) and the perfection of the vibration levels (although regular 3 and pulse 3 kill me when i’m close, i’m certain the hitachi junkies will appreciate them) and the rechargeable and the silver ion self cleaning coating and did i mention the ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh?

yeah, you should be jealous.

*runs off to wash/charge womolia again… you know, just to make sure the review is accurate…*

Posted in masturbation, reviews, sex, sex toys, toy review. 3 Comments »

hope

July 11, 2009 — badinfluencegirl

there is something inside me that simply refuses to give up hope.

even when i am saying out loud “that’s it, i give up, i’m not going to try any more” i am instead changing my approach… again. or not.

the truth is that i love men, always have.  i have played with the boys my whole life, first as a tomboy, then as a young woman who was into all those ‘guy’ things and now as a woman who both befriends and dates them.  even when i had no friends i was more likely to fish or climb rocks than i ever was to sew or play with dolls (though i did all of these things.)

i love their crudeness and the smell they exude after working with their bodies all day.  i love their firmness and the way our pelvises fit like they’re made to and i love penises and body hair rubbing against my nipples and most especially i love their very maleness.  men are not women, they are different and other and wonderful.

and somehow, no matter how many times i get kicked off the horse, i continue to love them and to believe in them and to befriend them.   to want them around and to catch their eye while walking down the street.  somehow?  no matter what?  i still keep thinking i might find one i can date for a long time instead of a short time.

i’ve stopped using words like forever and lifetime… but nonetheless i’d like to explore how it feels to keep the same person in my life for a few years at least.  to talk about the things that hurt and willingly lay ourselves bare to each other in an effort to keep the communication flowing.

to want to do the work.

to trust that if we let each other see our hurting places that perhaps we can heal them.

i just think that would be awesome and i seem to not get there.  i seem, instead, to be the healer for people.  not always, i don’t think i had much positive effect on mr. most-recent, but generally.  many of the men i’ve dated/lived with/married have gone from me to something significant and nearly always long lasting (many seem like to stay together until death does them part.)

i’m often the last one before the one.

which is an interesting and bittersweet place to be in.  you can watch people find their path while still wondering why yours is determined to follow such a crazy route.  you start to wonder if you’re capable of the kind of commitment or openness that a real long term relationship requires.

you look back on your men sometimes, the ones that are the happiest or that had the biggest impact, and you wonder what you might have done differently.  how your life would have been if you’d stayed… but you know.

you know it could never have worked out that way.

you know that when you asked your ex husband what you could have done to snap him out of his spiral he told you the truth when he answered “you did it by kicking me out.”  i *know* that nothing else would have helped that man to grow up and i *know* that our marriage was doomed by our immaturity.

but i wonder sometimes.

i wonder what it’s like to find yourself within a healthy relationship for long enough that you start to believe they’ll be there when you get home.  that you think maybe there really isn’t anything you can’t do.  that you look at an old man and see the young man you fell in love with… and the old man you still love.

i wonder what it’s like to be married for over forty years (like my parents) and still find things to talk about and fight about.

i wonder about that but i don’t really expect it for myself.  i wish i believed that that kind of relationship was out there for me but i feel like i missed my chance.  and that’s okay, but still i’d like to make it five or ten years and find out who i am when i’m within that context.

it’s not that i think people who don’t form lasting bonds are incomplete okay?

it’s that i can see that a long term, adult, romantic partnership is a vehicle for personal growth second only to raising a child.  which i would also like to do but am no longer expecting.

i would like to experience those paths since i feel like those parts of myself are underdeveloped.

i know that with my rehabilitaion work i form long term healing partnerships with people and that in many ways i parent my clients through their journeys.  so i know that those parts of myself will be explored to varying degrees.

but i also know that my relationship with my sister is one of the most complex and beautiful vehicles for growth and change in my life; we would never be friends if we met at a party, we just wouldn’t… but we love each other and we keep trying and we keep talking and you know?

this relationship has taught me more about relating to humans than any other experience i’ve ever had and i suspect that that will remain true for years to come.  we have to work so hard to hear each other and to understand each other because we are so very different the one from the other.

but we do the work because we’re worth it.

and here i am, still believing that someday i’ll find someone who wants to do the work with me.

hope… it’s a funny thing.

Posted in dating, life, love, outrageously unremittingly romantic not porny at all, random, sex fantasy. 12 Comments »

dear you

July 6, 2009 — badinfluencegirl

i understand, you know.

i understand your crazy dedication to your job and how much you love it… and in fact, it’s one of the things that attracted me to you in the first place.  that dedication and passion you bring to your work reminded me of men that i’ve admired in the past and led me to believe i understood the kind of man you are.

i understand that meeting someone who is passionate and at least as smart as you are can be daunting.  i mean heck, i was pretty freaked out when i met you.  well actually, not then; then i just thought we were having a lost weekend so i didn’t really think anything of it.  the freaking out started when you started sending me text messages and flowers within hours of our parting.

and then it got really full bore when you read both my blogs in an afternoon and told me we were perfectly matched.

i understand that in the early moments of meeting me i was amazing and vibrant and the most interesting thing ever, and i understand that that newness wears off.  it always does with me, you know.  usually it takes somewhere between four and eight months, so i must at least give you credit for setting a new land speed record in your trip from discovering my total awesomeness to not being sure if you ever want to see me again.

i understand that you had intentions of staying single for a while after your last mess so that you could get a handle on what you wanted and needed for yourself.  that meeting me was not in your plan.

but meeting someone you connect with?

that doesn’t happen every day and it most definitely doesn’t ever suit a plan.  it happens randomly over dinner with a group of friends, when you bump into each other in the lineup at the grocery store, when you’re cast in a play together, or whatever… but never, no, hardly ever according to any life plan that anyone might have set up.

i understand that you need to backpedal and that you need to go to your little corner and figure this out.  decide if you want kids or even just a lifemate.  decide if your life alone in your house is enough for you or if it isn’t.  if i’m your woman or if you’re going to trade me in for the next one to come along.

i understand that you really believe that withdrawing from me so you could do your thinking was the right thing to do, and that talking to me about it was not the correct thing from your perspective, even though two friends and i were driving down to see you.  after all, i have no say in your life, not really; it’s your life and you have to decide how to live it.

still, i’m not sure you see how hard that withdrawal was to receive. to guess and to wonder what was going on.  to have to confront you to find out that you aren’t sure after all if you want me in your life.  i’m totally sure you have no earthly idea how hard it is to be in your house and sleeping in your bed with nowhere else to go while all this is happening.

or how hard it is on the friends that came to visit you (and had originally planned to stay somewhere else until you encouraged their visit so strongly they accepted your invitation) with me.  and i apologise if you don’t think we know how hard our grumpy mood on arrival was on you.

or what telling a woman not to be sad and not to pretend to be cheerful does to her just after she feels that it was all a big bait and switch.

i get that this is hard for you and that you feel that all of the things i’ve said to you since you dumped me (since i met you?) are fully negative and that there is therefore no point talking to me at all.  though i’m not entirely convinced that you’re hearing the way you’re talking to me.

i understand that you actually think it’s possible to hang out and pretend everything is fine after you tell your purported girlfriend that you don’t know what you want, that you don’t know if you want her, that you think your communication styles are fatally mismatched and that every single thing that comes out of her mouth is apparently some kind of weapon.

i even understand that you think having kids is a dealbreaker for me, though it isn’t,  and that you aren’t sure at all if you want to have them or not.  which would have been fine except that you didn’t talk to me about it.  so many things you didn’t talk to me about; i will never understand why.

what i think you don’t understand?

is that i got dumped today and you won’t say it out loud and somehow you’ve made it my fault and left me just enough hope to hang myself.

—

i wrote this post at four am when i couldn’t sleep because i was so sick and upset over what was happening with the man from the post absence.  he had withdrawn and become distant and uninterested in making further plans with me but continued to assert that he was into me.

my friends and i felt unwelcome from the moment we arrived at his home. eventually, i pushed enough and he told me he was trying to decide what he wanted and that he was not sure he even wanted to date anyone let alone me. that he had had concerns since our meeting (two months ago) about my communication style and my negativity.

this confused me because sure, we teased each other as friends do but if he perceived this as a negative why didn’t he simply say so?  even once?

the following morning (i was sharing his bed and at his house, you can imagine how well things were going) when i attempted to talk to him once more, i was told that my negative reaction to his perfectly natural need to think and my habit of throwing “verbal daggers” and my “unwarranted cruelty” had demonstrated to him that there was to be no positive outcome from this.

so basically because i failed to welcome his contemplation of being unsure he wanted to date me, and because i reacted by feeling dumped and being incredibly sad and hurt and by making a couple of snarky cracks he felt justified in telling my friends and me to “find alternate accommodations.”

far as i can tell?

he never saw me at all…

Posted in dating, life, love, random, uncoupling. 11 Comments »
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